Small Update

Just letting you all know Im home and recovering. There was no complications. I wasnt prepared for the pain as I typically think of myself as Superwoman when it comes to things that hurt. Im told Im dealing with more pain than a typical surgery because they completed three "surgeries" in one. Gastric bypass, gallbladder removal and hernea repair. I will write more when Im able to sit here longer. Thanks for all the well wishes.

Ok, Here's My Secret

I wasnt going to tell anyone this. And even as Im typing now, Im not even sure Im going to press the "publish" button. But I feel like trying to take this step in telling people.

I am having weight loss surgery.

This decision didnt come lightly. In fact for a long time I thought that surgery was way too drastic for almost anyone. I began researching WLS after I started researching PCOS. (Almost two years ago.) WLS is the only thing that comes close to curing PCOS. This is for several reasons. 1) PCOS makes it VERY difficult to lose weight. However, losing weight allieviates some of the symptoms. WLS makes it easier for someone who has PCOS to lose weight. Although, WLS is no where NEAR the easy way to do it. 2) The type of WLS I am having is called RNY Distal. (See Below.)

The Roux-en-y (or RNY) falls under the area of bariatric bypass surgery and is the most common gastric bypass procedure. In short, the RNY procedure reduces the size of your stomach and reroutes the digestive system.
Three major steps are involved in the RNY procedure: first, the stomach is stapled just below the esophagus, forming a 1-2 ounce stomach pouch above the staples.
The second step includes the division of the small intestines about one foot below the stomach. Then a new 1.5 centimeter opening (stoma) is created in the stomach pouch.
Finally, the open end of the small intestines is attached to the new opening. Food and fluids can now pass from the stomach pouch into the small intestines. The remaining end of the small intestines forms a "Y-shaped" intestinal junction at the base of the stomach. An opening is made to allow digestive juices from the bypassed part of the stomach to flow into the small intestines.

In this instance, "Distal" refers to the amount of small intestines that my surgery will be bypassing. Its the most amount of small intestines that can be bypassed. The reason this is important in my case is because the section of intestines that will be bypassed includes where sugar is absorbed by the human body. My body incorrectly processes sugar and food in general. Because of PCOS, my body turns absolutely everything into sugar, and of course, excess sugar = fat. So, instead of my body incorrectly processing sugar, it wont process it AT ALL. What this means is, after the surgery, I cant eat sugar. AT ALL. If I do, I will get extremely sick. Vomiting, diarrhea, sweating, elevated heart rate and blood pressure are the symptoms of whats called Dumping Syndrome. Basically your body is dumping out what it cant process. Its very painful - Ive seen my Aunt Donna go through it about 5 minutes after eating BBQ sauce that contained sugar. It wasnt easy to see her in so much pain, and I now am a witness of what will happen if I indulge in chocolate.

Emotionally, I feel like I am prepared to do the surgery. Taking this final step in telling people by broadcasting it on my blog is what I feel like - my final preparation. Its been such a long time coming and only VERY few people knew about it. I feel like Im coming out of the closet! HAHA So if you are feeling slighted that I didnt include you, please dont be. No one knew as I prepared. Aunt Donna knew first because she herself is one year out from her surgery - so I picked her brain like mad. My husband, my parents, my sister, and two other very close individuals to me are the only ones who knew about it - and they only got to know about a month ago. For those of you who I told I was having gall bladder surgery, I didnt lie. LOL They are taking my gall bladder out at the same time. I just omitted... Im sorry. :-)

Ive been overweight in some capacity all my life. It makes sense now that as the PCOS got more extreme, so did my weight. In preparation and research for my decision, I came across some interesting statistics. Only 5% of people who lose any kind of weight keep it off for over 5 years. Think about it....who do you know lost some weight - only to have it come back, (plus more), within 5 years? I only know one person who has kept weight off for that long. Carol L. She is awesome and VERY disciplined. She looks amazing! But that isnt the normal, and I know she constantly works at it. Ok, take some like me who has PCOS, and hereditary issues like the obesity gene, diabetes and thyroid disease. Someone who has all those strikes against them only has a 1% success rate of keeping weight off. Oh, and of that 5% of people who are successful?.... some of those are made up of people who have had WLS. So... this decision became a no-brainer on tail end of almost 2 years of research.

Life after surgery for me will be drastically different. Not just because of what I will be eating. Because the surgery causes extreme malabsorbtion issues, I will need to take vitamin supplements and protein drinks every day for the rest of my life. For the first 8 weeks I will be putting nothing in my body but water, clear liquids like broth, sugar free jello, and crystal light, vitamins and protein drinks. I will be taking about 22 pills a day, plus powdered calcium. Im a weenie at taking pills too,....so it will be a challenge!

I suppose I will eventually be posting pictures so you all can see my progress. Right now, Im not that brave for you all to see pics - or know the magic numbers. I know most of you see me often, but still...seeing my chub and my chub number on the internet is not something I want to do. HA

So...wish me luck and pray for me. My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday November 21st. TWO DAYS!

My Icky Eye...Oh yes, The Never Ending Story

So I once again tried the, "ignore it and it will go away" method of dealing with my eyeball. This only resulted in my eye getting worse. It doesnt like to be ignored, and like an obsessive ex-girlfriend, my icky eye keeps reminding me its still there.

Ive had several bloodtests recently to check my thyroid. My doctor seems convinced something is wrong with it. She said she is concerned about Graves Disease. Me...? Not so much. Even tho one of the symptoms is red bulging eyes. Im still going to do the thyroid scan this thursday. I go in to the hospital I swallow some radioactive iodine. I then go back 4 hours later and have a scan done of my thyroid. The iodine will have made its way through all my veins and organs and it will highlight the problem area - if any!

My preliminary bloodtests were not off the charts by any means. Which suggests that Graves is not an issue. Im still within the normal range - just high-normal. Also a symptom of Graves and hyperthyroidism is unexplained weightloss. *blinks* Well THAT certainly isnt happening! I just have an icky, rebellious, unrelenting eyeball.

Sadness

I wont mention any names out of respect for the family and my friend, but I do feel like I need to write about it. This is probably out of selfish reasons...trying to make sense of a senseless death...trying to pull a situation full circle after the circle had been interrupted prematurely. Closure in my own way I suppose.

I loved her...she was my friend. We connected on a few life details...even if they seemed shallow, we connected. She loved Jesus, make up, fun. Me too. She reached out to me. Sent me a note - told me I was an amazing person that made her feel good. That made me feel good. Then life changes. Life changes you. Life changes things. Choices are made. Lifestyles separate. I hadnt seen her in so so long. But she was still that girl who was my friend. The pretty fun girl with the gorgeous eyes and the gorgeous kids.

I should have reached out. Should have done more. Should have told her she was amazing and special. Should have kept the connection. Should have called her. Maybe the outcome would be different? That sounds arrogant. That my reaching out could have changed things. Who am I? But I cant help but wonder....and probably always will.

I'll miss the light she brought. Her laughter, her voice, her funny way of having a conversation while minding 3 effervescent boys. I'll miss my friend.

Sharing Pictures...

I know I talk a lot about Dylan and Mak on here, but I dont often post pictures of them. They are soooooo good with Jubilee. She loves them so much. Here are some pictures we had taken of all of them and some with just Juju too.

A Scary Looking Bunch!