You know what sucks about this? I mean, besides my family hurting, besides the boys not understanding that their grandma isnt coming back, besides making ridiculous and horrendous plans for a loved ones body, ....you know what really sucks? My brain doesnt seem to get that my Aunt Donna is gone. My heart knows it. I can tell because it still hurts. But my brain will wander off into its own little world. It will think about all of the upcoming plans I made with Aunt Donna as if they are still on. It will make mental lists of the things I need to do and then think, "Hmm...I bet Aunt Donna will want to come with me." It will think of stupid funny things and then try to remind me to tell my Aunt Donna about it later. Each time this happens I have to remind my brain I can no longer do those things. ....and it really REALLY is getting quite frustrating.
For anyone who is interested and hasnt heard yet, the memorial service for my Aunt Donna is February 24th at 11am, at Lighthouse Christian Center.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Sad Day
Yesterday, my Aunt Donna and best friend passed away. I knew her since I was 7, and over the years our relationship grew from auntie and niece, to friends and to practically sisters. She was an amazing person with a heart like no other. RIP Auntie.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Holy Hell, is it February?
I cant believe it is February already. And I say "already" as if the first week isnt already over. ACK!
Most of my time lately has been entertaining an under-the-weather Juju bean. She is still sick with no change. Im taking her back in tomorrow for a follow-up as Dr. Kathie said to come back if she wasnt better by the end of this week. Her spirits are mostly the same ole Juju, but once in a while she will decline something to eat, or decide The Little Mermaid isnt the cinematic masterpiece she usually is convinced it is, and says, "I dont feel good." When I say Ive been spending my time entertaining her, I mean Ive been following her around with numerous damp Kleenex in my pockets trying to catch the snot as it runs out of her tiny nostrils. I consider it a successful day if Ive caught the Snot River before it flows over her lips into her mouth.
I am still recovering nicely from surgery and learning life after gastric bypass. Ive learned specifically that you shouldnt gulp half a glass of ice water no matter how thirsty you are. If your stomach can only hold 2 ounces, it really will only hold 2 ounces...then the rest will come right back up. To date Ive lost 63lbs. Ive had a couple people say something to the effect of surgery being the "easy way" to lose weight. While the surgery has been and will be a really great tool for me, it hasnt been easy by any means. I still am changing habits, changing the way I eat, and dealing with lots of icky side effects of the surgery. Losing weight the traditional way would have been MUCH easier had that worked for me and worked for me in a long term situation. One of the hardest things for me to deal with so far is the nausea. I wake up with it every morning and Im told it will eventually go away. One of the things that make me soooooo utterly nauseated are protein drinks. I am supposed to drink 4 a day. They make me gag by just smelling the powder. Its not a pleasant situation. However, my body needs the whey protein contained in these drinks. Whey protein combines with regular protein, (found in meat, beans, and other foods), to make amino acids which builds muscle. I am losing not only fat, but losing so rapidly that my muscle mass is shrinking also. If I do not replenish the protein needed to keep my lean mass, my body will eventually start eating things I need - like my liver, my heart, kidneys, etc. ACK! So yesterday when I was a good girl and told my surgeon at my follow up appt that NO I do not drink those evil, vile protein drinks, he sorta lectured me. Well, not sorta...I felt like I was caught by my pastor doing something dirty in the church baptismal. (Not that ever happened!) Basically, if I do not start taking my protein, they will reverse the surgery so I can eat enough to keep myself healthy. And I think I would rather gag my way through a protein drink than go through the surgery and subsequent complications again. So, today...I drank one. One...yep, just one. But hey, better than none!
Saturday is my 11th wedding anniversary. Lets all give a golf clap that Troy is still alive...or even me for that matter.
Saturday Im going roller skating! VERY excited about that... I reconnected with some girls from high school, (shout out to Pad, Jami, Carm, and Mescha), and we're meeting up with our kids at the skating rink. OMG, Juju on skates...this will be funny. Pictures to come!
Most of my time lately has been entertaining an under-the-weather Juju bean. She is still sick with no change. Im taking her back in tomorrow for a follow-up as Dr. Kathie said to come back if she wasnt better by the end of this week. Her spirits are mostly the same ole Juju, but once in a while she will decline something to eat, or decide The Little Mermaid isnt the cinematic masterpiece she usually is convinced it is, and says, "I dont feel good." When I say Ive been spending my time entertaining her, I mean Ive been following her around with numerous damp Kleenex in my pockets trying to catch the snot as it runs out of her tiny nostrils. I consider it a successful day if Ive caught the Snot River before it flows over her lips into her mouth.
I am still recovering nicely from surgery and learning life after gastric bypass. Ive learned specifically that you shouldnt gulp half a glass of ice water no matter how thirsty you are. If your stomach can only hold 2 ounces, it really will only hold 2 ounces...then the rest will come right back up. To date Ive lost 63lbs. Ive had a couple people say something to the effect of surgery being the "easy way" to lose weight. While the surgery has been and will be a really great tool for me, it hasnt been easy by any means. I still am changing habits, changing the way I eat, and dealing with lots of icky side effects of the surgery. Losing weight the traditional way would have been MUCH easier had that worked for me and worked for me in a long term situation. One of the hardest things for me to deal with so far is the nausea. I wake up with it every morning and Im told it will eventually go away. One of the things that make me soooooo utterly nauseated are protein drinks. I am supposed to drink 4 a day. They make me gag by just smelling the powder. Its not a pleasant situation. However, my body needs the whey protein contained in these drinks. Whey protein combines with regular protein, (found in meat, beans, and other foods), to make amino acids which builds muscle. I am losing not only fat, but losing so rapidly that my muscle mass is shrinking also. If I do not replenish the protein needed to keep my lean mass, my body will eventually start eating things I need - like my liver, my heart, kidneys, etc. ACK! So yesterday when I was a good girl and told my surgeon at my follow up appt that NO I do not drink those evil, vile protein drinks, he sorta lectured me. Well, not sorta...I felt like I was caught by my pastor doing something dirty in the church baptismal. (Not that ever happened!) Basically, if I do not start taking my protein, they will reverse the surgery so I can eat enough to keep myself healthy. And I think I would rather gag my way through a protein drink than go through the surgery and subsequent complications again. So, today...I drank one. One...yep, just one. But hey, better than none!
Saturday is my 11th wedding anniversary. Lets all give a golf clap that Troy is still alive...or even me for that matter.
Saturday Im going roller skating! VERY excited about that... I reconnected with some girls from high school, (shout out to Pad, Jami, Carm, and Mescha), and we're meeting up with our kids at the skating rink. OMG, Juju on skates...this will be funny. Pictures to come!
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