Ok, ok, ENOUGH with the emails...Im blogging again. And NO Aunt Jan, I wasnt blogging because I dont get enough protein. Im going to start calling you Mom Botts #2 and we'll start making fun of your hair.
Not a lot has been going on since I last blogged. We had the first camping trip of the year over Easter weekend. It was too cold for us tent-campers, but Juju spent the night with Meema in the trailer. There was also some great sand candle-making, easter egg hunting, and concho-wearing. (Concho= The Condom-Poncho....you had to be there.) Juju spent much of the weekend jumping in puddles with her lady bug boots. She loves to be outdoors and is a true camping kid.
I guess the biggest thing for me to report about at this point is going back to work. I love being a stay at home mommy. Dont get me wrong...there are days that by 6pm I want to pull out my hair if I hear the word, "Mom-mom???" one more time. But I really do love the fact that I get to teach my daughter what she knows, I get to decide what to teach her, and I dont have to have someone else raise her for a whole 3rd of the day. I like that she isnt in a day care situation, (that I would have to spend much of my income on anyway), where she would be exposed to increased sickness and questionable disciplinary techniques that I probably wouldnt agree with. I like that we get to be creative with our time and how she gets to socialize. I like that I dont have to rush home from a job and try to spend quality time with her while I rush to make dinner, bathe her and put her to bed.
However, Mom Botts retired. She retired and OFFERED to watch Juju for me if I went back to work. This means no day care, and she'll be with someone who loves her and dinner could be done by the time I pick her up. And its FREE!
So obviously some of my concerns about going back to work are alleviated. Plus, there are benefits....like having some moolah. With Jamie and Jeff living in San Fransisco, Im bound to buy a plane ticket or two in the near future. I also like the idea of using my brain again besides just figuring out new ways to entertain a 2 year old.
Just around the time I was thinking about all this, what seems to be the perfect job for me is advertised in the classifieds. I got an early heads up from my sister who pretty much runs the ad department of our local paper. Its a Human Resources position for a local yacht building company. I would be responsible for all the HR needs of a large company with over 400 employees. This company has sites in Westport, Port Angeles, and Seattle. Its a big position. And, yep.... I turned in my resume and got a call yesterday. We had a mini-interview over the phone and I will be going in soon for an interview. I have not secured this position by any means yet, but if I do - it wont be like Im easing back into the workplace. It will be like Im doing a giant cannonball into a gigantic pool.
However, I cant help feeling a bit sad and bitter. Although there are many things in the "pro" column of me returning to work, my heart truly is with my daughter and being home for her. I feel its important for her development and for what I envisioned for her life. If I go back to work will I regret it for years to come? Once I get used to that income it will be hard to give up again. Honestly, I may have never considered going back to work if I hadnt felt a bit pressured by Troy. I think he wasnt completely honest about his feelings of me staying home. He obviously is bitter about having the pressure of being the sole breadwinner at this point. I think I will like working again....and all the benefits that go along with having a job....and a job in a field I enjoy and do well. But I like being only a Mommy more. Its a harder job. More frustration. More work than any other job Ive ever had. But its truly the only thing that means anything. So, if its meant to be, and I get this job, I will work even harder at making my time with Jubilee count.
On a lighter note - here is your Cuteness Allotment for the day. Some pics of a baby miniature pony named Knee-high who belongs to my friend Joe's family, and some pics of Juju camping and on Easter. ENJOY!
4 comments:
Hey, I'm glad you are feeling well and blogging again, Missy (P.S. have some protein NOW)! And I knew when your Mom announced her retirement that secretly she'd LOVE spending days with Miss Jubilee.
You are perfect for the job, and if you want me to go over there and talk to them about that, just let me know! You are an awesome mother to our treasure, Jubilee, and will continue to be so, whether or not you are working. All of us old farts have struggled with the same choices.
Like I said, I am proud of you, Staci! Go get them!!
yfa
Staci only you can make that decision that you feel right in your heart with. I know that when I was SAH John felt such a burdon and it really affected our relationship and it got better when I went back to work part time. That might work for you or it might not. Is this job ft? I know that Juju will be just as wonderful as she is now and definatly just as smart. She would have a wonderful woman taking care of her (if you decided). It is hard leaving my babes when I do work. I don't know yet if it gets easier (had to find a daycare for the first time in 6.5 years). ((((HUGS)))) because your a mom ((((HUGS)))) because this is a hard decision and ((((more Hugs)))) just because. Remember if you do decide to go to work, it doesn't make you a bad mom at ALL. Thats one of the hardest things to remember!
FREE!!!??? Who said FREE???
Just kidding...Me and Juju will have a great time, cussing, drinking and watching soaps. I intend to teach her to mop, watch dishes and mow the lawn. Two if us will benefit from you working you know.
Can't wait Juju!!
Love you, Meema
Oh, Staci. I have so much to say about this. But the main thing is... there are lots of ways you can make your child's life perfect. I justify leaving them at daycare (no longer "strangers") in many ways. They learn things I would have never thought to teach them. They get lots of exercise. They love being social. And i can provide more security for them as well.
Had I been able to leave them with grandma, I could also find better ways to justify it. The best of which is, "It's Grandma!"
The first few weeks will be very hard. But it will get easier. It really will. And the minute you feel that JuJu is suffering because of your job, you quit it.
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