The First Week is Over...whew.

Remember back when I said that if I got this HR job I would be jumping in with both feet, as opposed to easing my way back into the work force with a stress-free part-time job? Wow, I couldnt have possibly understated that any more. My first week with Westport was fun, intense, interesting, fast-paced, stimulating, stressful, mind-numbing, and oh, did I mention intense? With the exception of Monday, every day had me looking up at the clock to notice, "Holy monkey, its 5pm already." Thursday and Friday were especially fast paced and filled with learning different processes of my job. I got to spend those two days working with my direct supervisor who is normally stationed out of our Westport, WA facility. The duties are your basic HR functions but with a huge amount of employee relations. That is my favorite part of HR, so Im okay with that. On average we hire about 10-12 people per week, with about 20 interviews per week. Every Monday I will be facilitating an orientation for those new hires. Its really too much for one person to do, and the second HR guru will be joining me July 9th. Im looking forward to that. Once he gets here, I will be working with our Interior Plant, (the huge shop that makes all the interior woodwork and furniture for the yachts), three days a week. Im not sure how it will all shake out - time will tell. There is just so much to do, and I can already tell so much has fallen through the cracks while they were going through an HR crisis for about a month. I already have identified about 10 projects that I want to undertake given the time to do so. One hurdle that needs to be addressed is the high turn-over rate. Westport is a great company to work for....lots of perks and bennys, and they pay well, (for Ghettosville). So I need to figure out why the revolving door is spinning so quickly. Many of the entry level jobs are labor-intensive - having to wear tyvek suits and respirators. "I get to help build a yacht!" sounds way more exciting than, "what I really do is sand fiberglass all day long in a plastic suit with a mask on my face." I think reality sets in once they are on the dirty hull with all the equipment on...wondering how they are going to do it day in and day out. If you can stick with the job though, you can move up fairly quickly in position and pay. Anyone need a job?

On a personal note, going back to work hasnt been as heart-wrenching as I thought it would when it comes to Jubilee. Maybe its because I did all my stressing about it before I actually started. Having Meema's Juju Care Inc. helps a lot too. Plus, it just doesnt seem like she misses me. Which hurts and heals at the same time. One morning as I was saying goodbye she said,
"Where you going Mom-mom?"
"Im going to work."
".....AGAIN!?"
Thats about all shes said about it so far. I miss her like crazy though and cant help feeling like Im missing out on something. In fact, my very first day she ended up vomiting at my moms house. I missed a barf! Not sure if she just had a little bug or what...seems fine since then.

So this weekend I hung out pretty close to her and we did much of nothing. I think we are in the process of phasing out naptime. *sniffs and holds a small moment of silence for naptime* Since weaning from the binkie, Jubilee has had a horrible time going to sleep at night. She plays and basically throws a party for her babies, mermaids, Diego and Dora for about 2 - 3 hours. If she does not nap during the day, she is usually asleep by 8pm. However, today I attempted to keep her awake all afternoon while playing cards at my parents house and it didnt go so well. I left her with my mom to go pick up my Dad and by the time I got back she was VERY soundly asleep in the chair. Party tonight in Juju's room!

On another note, as of this morning, I have lost 125lbs. Dangggggg that is a lot of freaking weight. I feel like I should be a LOT smaller than I currently am having lost that much. 125lbs in 7 months. I know that seems really fast and unhealthy, but its a very good pace for RNY patients. Plus, Im getting in protein drinks and vitamins every day. Still not as much protein as I need, but Im working my way up. I also have a god-awful hernia as a result from the surgery. Whenever I sneeze, cough, or laugh, it squishes out and my tummy looks like something from Alien. I need to have it repaired badly, BUT....if I can hold out until I finish losing all the weight I want to lose, my surgeon will do a tummy tuck at the same time as the hernia repair. WOOHOO! Im not sure how much I want to weigh as a goal. My goal is to be comfortable, to feel good.... I think I would feel great in a size 14. I never had the desire to be a skinny-mini and when I see a woman who I think is gorgeous, she always tends to be on the curvy/round side. If you look at a clinical chart that states what you are supposed to weigh, my "healthy normal" weight is between 104-118lbs. I think I would be skin and bones at that weight. ew. I think no matter what my size is, I wouldnt like to lose more than another 50-60lbs. A drop in the bucket compared to what Ive lost so far. And I would like to be finished losing all the weight by the time my anniversary for my surgery date gets here in November. That would be about 10-12lbs a month. Think I can do it?

Operation Binkie: Update

All is well in the binkieless world! She has hardly mentioned her binkie with one exception and I will explain that in a minute. Naptime is the same as before, she pretty much puts herself down for a nap, telling me when she's tired and falls asleep quickly. Bedtime is a different story. Jubilee has always been easy when it came to bed time. We get a bath, a few scenes of a movie in my bed, bedtime story and prayers in her bed, then lights out and shes asleep within a few minutes. The routine now is still the same, however, after I turn the lights out and leave the room, apparently a party ensues. Theres singing, bouncing, tapping and knocking on the walls, and when I go in to tell her its time to sleep, the bed looks like wild horses ran through it. It now is taking her a solid two hours to fall asleep at night.

The one exception to her even talking about the binkies occurred yesterday when I was watching Camden. Camden is Troy's brother's baby. He is six months old and CUTE as ever. Jubilee was the perfect little mother. She wanted to help in everything we did for him. At one point while I walked to the kitchen to get Camden a bottle, I turned around and saw that Jubilee had piled toys on top of Camden. If he didnt play with what she brought him, apparently she just put it on his lap and kept bringing him things, (including a standard-sized Garfield basketball). So I unburied him and she got to help me feed him lunch. She was thrilled. Then it was naptime for both of them. We got him settled into his seat.....with his binky. Oh boy...was that a mistake. When Jubilee saw Camden with his binky - she wanted hers back. "I want my binky baaaaaaaaaaaaack!" Crying and wailing ensued for 10 minutes until she was just too tired to cry anymore and fell asleep. I know I cant let her have a binkie back now after days of success - but boy did I feel like a mean mommy!

After that little melt-down, there hasnt been another instance of mentioning the binkie. I think it really has become a situation of out-of-sight, out-of-mind.

She Works Hard for the Money

Or at least I will be starting Monday, June 18th. Yesterday I received a call and was extended a job offer which I accepted.

I will be the HR Generalist for Westport. If you go to their website here, click on "careers", you can see the ginormous list of job openings they have and why they are in desperate need of HR help. Plus, you can learn a bit about the company there. The product is exciting - this job will be so different from working in the non-profit, human services field. Westport is the largest employer on the Olympic Peninsula. Along with a second HR Generalist, which they have yet to hire, I will be responsible for the HR needs of over 400 employees. MUCH different from a small social services agency with 50 employees.

The waiting period from my interview until I was offered a job was about 8 weeks. Both the lady that interviewed me, and the first HR Generalist they hired for the job I applied for, quit within a week of each other. So they went from having to fill one position, to having to start the process over twice. Plus they did some strategic planning for the HR positions - hence the wait. In the meantime they still had to keep hiring 10-12 people a week to keep boat production on schedule. Im told it was quite a mess.

Im very excited, but still sad about leaving Juju everyday, all day. I do realize there are perks for her of me going back to work. Not the least of them me not getting annoyed by being alone with a toddler all day. Plus, there are activities like dance classes, piano lessons, and sports that I may not have been able to afford otherwise. And I get to dust off the cobwebs from my brain and use it for something other than strategic maneuvers in Diego checkers. But still, I will always miss our daily morning snuggles until she decides its time for a bowl of "Honey Butt Cheerios".

Now that Ive actually been offered the job, I have to focus on my career wardrobe. The problem being I dont have one. After losing 118lbs, I dont have much that fits in the way of business casual. If it were appropriate to wear baggy t-shirts and Garfield jammy bottoms to work, I'd be set! Who wants to go shopping with me?

Operation Binkie: Night One

Last night was more successful than I imagined. We put Jubilee through her night-time routine with reminders of where her binkies were headed: To help Baby Jaguar. She was fully prepared to go to bed with no binkie because, "Im a big girl!". It all seemed too easy. I grabbed the monitor and sat down to watch TV. After an hour of listening to her play, bounce, sing, and generally have trouble settling down, I went back into her bedroom and reminded her it was bedtime, not playtime. It was at this point I realized she is much too smart for this binkie plan I concocted.

"Mom-mom, I need my binkie."

"Where are your binkies? Do you remember?"

"Yes, with Baby Jaguar. He's still a baby and Im a big girl."

"Yep! So now its time to close your eyes and go to sleep." *edging my way to the door...*

"....waitwaitwaitwaitWAIT WAIT WAAAAAAAAIT!! ......I have an idea."

"Whats your idea?"

*using her hands to emphasize her points* "After Baby Jaguar has all my regular binkies, we go to the store and get NEW binkies!!!"

*wondering why I hadnt come up with a toddler-proof Operation Back-Up Binkie Plan* "Well... um.... It doesnt work that way." ......Lame, I know. I just didnt know what else to say to her.

"How come?"

"Because youre three years old now. You are a big girl and you dont need a binkie anymore. Binkies are for babies and you arent a baby, right?" *hoping this makes sense and I wont be guilted into running to Walmart for new binkies."

"WAIT WAIT WAIT! I have another idea." *holding her hands out in front of her as if stopping me in the name of love* "Baby Jaguar got my binkies, I get Litte Mermaid binkies!!!"

I said, "Juju, I dont think they make Little Mermaid binkies."

"Nooooo, I give Baby Jaguar my binkies, and now The Little Mermaid will give me HER binkies!" Afterall if she is going to share her binkies, the only polite thing for the Little Mermaid to do would be to share her binkies also! This girl REALLY wants her binkie.

"The Little Mermaid is a big girl too. She doesnt have binkies anymore either!"

"Oh. Okay."

After this conversation, it only took her another hour of singing songs from The Little Mermaid and Aladdin to fall asleep. When all was quiet and she was asleep, I went in to find her sleeping sideways in her bed, her babies, little mermaid dolls, a carebear, blankets and her pillow were strewn all over, but.....she was soundly asleep.

This morning she woke up at her normal 6:30am bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. ....No mention of the binkie yet.

Binkies. Baby Jaguar- 4, Jubilee- 0

Right now, sitting in my mailbox, is an envelope addressed to Baby Jaguar, care of Diego in The Rainforest, with four beloved binkies inside. "Rawr-rawr!"

Ever since Jubilee came out of her drug-induced sedated state in the NICU, she has had a binkie. She lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvves her some binkies. I knew all along I would have to break this habit, and Im not sure why Ive let it go on so long. I even hate seeing other kids over 2 years old with binkies in their mouths at the store! But Jubilee only has hers at night and when she's sick... Plus I felt like I could justify the binkie-usage knowing she let go of other vices so early and easily. She weaned from the bottle at 11 months, she slept through the night in her own bed early, she potty trained early, ....she doesnt even use sippy cups anymore. So whats a little binkie now and then, right? Well, I think three years old is my limit. However, knowing how attached she is to her binkies, (usually going to bed with one in her mouth and one in her hand), I came up with an idea to make getting rid of the binkies more....acceptable. I want her to not have to rely on a binkie, but I dont want to be the big mean mommy monster that took them away!

Dylan and I talked at length about Operation Binkie. We came up with a plan that seemed fun and would let her feel like a "big girl" at the same time. Jubilee digs getting the mail from the mailbox. She also digs Diego. He's an animal rescuer. So "Diego", (Dyl and Mak), wrote Jubilee a letter from the Rainforest:

"Dear Jubilee,
Hi, this is Diego! We need your help! Baby Jaguar lost all of his binkies. He doesnt have ANY! Can you help him and send him all of your binkies?? Youre a big girl now and you dont need your binkies anymore.

Love,
Diego"

Since we were all assembled at Mom and Dad Botts's house for a BBQ today, we let Jubilee retrieve her letter from Meema's mailbox. (I know its sunday and usually no mail is delivered today...but it was from THE Rainforest...it was special delivery.) Jubilee's face lit up in that HUGE surprised way with her mouth in a gigantic "O". She ran back to the house and brought me the letter. As I read the letter to her, I dont think she understood the total consequence of saying YES. I re-read the letter to her and explained that if she sent her binkies to Baby Jaguar, that she wouldnt have them anymore. She nodded and said she would give all her binkies to Baby Jaguar. She gathered up her one binkie she kept at Meema's house, ( and you better not have any in hiding Mom!!), and put it in the envelope to send to Baby Jaguar. Nap time would be the test.

When it was time for her nap and as I was taking off her shoes, she said, "I need my binkie." I said, "Remember? You said it was ok for Baby Jaguar to have your binkies. He's still a baby and needs a binkie. Youre a big girl who's three years old!" She thought about it for a minute and said, "Ok." I layed her down expecting some tears, but instead she sang herself to sleep with a couple of loud renditions of "A Whole New World".

When we returned home from the BBQ we went through the house letting her put her binkies in the envelope to Baby Jaguar. She kept saying, ...as if to convince herself, "Im a big girl and I dont need a binkie! Baby Jaguar has all my binkies. He's still a baby." We colored on the outside of the envelope, taped it shut and we walked together to the mailbox to send off the binkies. As she shut the mailbox door she said, "Bye Bye Binkies!"

Tonight is Binkieless Night Number 1.

A Few Pics From The Trip

Jubilee and Dylan chillin' in the sun.

Jubilee totally loved the bowling. Especially the teeny sized bowling balls she got to use.

Juju and D on the train in Silverwood.

Dylan and Chewpee going for a swim.

I actually found a bikini that fit Juju this year....

...Unlike the previous year.

Camping, RollerCoasters, and Thunderstorms, Oh My.

After 6 fun-filled days away - we're back to our humble abode. I always forget how much I love my own shower and my own bed until I cant use them for a few days in a row. Its good to be home. Zoe thinks so too. I can tell by the way she is following me around the house and planting herself in my lap if I seem to settle in one place for more than two seconds. If she happens to lose me in the house somewhere, she will howl until I answer and let her know which direction I can be found. Its good to be missed! ....even if its just the cat. HA

SATURDAY: Woke up at 3am - in the Grocery Getter by 3:30 with a very tired but excited Juju Bean, and we hit the road. The van was stuffed to the gills with camping equipment, 3 suitcases, (one for each of us... I habitually overpack for Juju. Never know with a toddler what youre going to need....and I never let Troys socks or underwear touch mine.), and various toys and attention grabbers for Jubilee since we'll be spending so much time on the road.

We caravaned with Holly, Jason, Dylan, Mak and Tyler, (known as The Wick 5 on the Walkie Talkie), and hit the 5:10am ferry with time to spare. Once boarding the ferry we went upstairs to enjoy the view and eat some breakfast. Jubilee stared out the window the whole ride exclaiming that, "The Little Mermaid is in the water!!! Theres Flounder! Theres Sebastian! OOOOH The Sea Witch!" She entertained, (or annoyed) all who sat in the same section of the ferry as us. She was quite excited, and even if I reminded her to use her "quiet" voice, she pretty much just had one volume: LOUD.

We got back on the road and made just a few pit stops on our way to Lake Chelan. Jubilee slept for a couple hours and we hit the campground by 10:30am. Once unpacked, all the kids went swimming, including Jubilee. She only swallowed 1/4 of the pool and choked it back out. I made a mental note to look into swimming lessons as soon as possible. We spent the rest of our time at Lake Chelan taking it easy, swimming in the 100 degree weather, and visiting with family. We left Chelan early monday morning. Destination Idaho!

MONDAY: We woke up early after a night of spotty warm rain and lighting with yummy thunder and hit the road. The Wick 5 and the Grocery Getter caravaned while Mom and Dad Botts got a bit later start. We got to Idaho a few hours ahead of them and we spent the time at Raptor Reef. A small waterslide park located right inside Holly and Jason's hotel! It was sooooooo much fun. I hadnt been on waterslides in YEARS. Dylan and I shot down the double slide on inflatable tubes. It was like being in a cannon. It shot us out into this toillet bowl-like swirly pool and eventually you ended up getting shot down another dark slide. I screamed like a gore queen in a b-flick movie. Soooooooo fun. Raptor Reef also had a whole section just for Juju Beans! Jubilee had a total blast going down her own waterslides, standing under waterfalls, (ok, she didnt much dig that part, but it was really funny to watch), and turning off and on water spouts with the valves she could control.

After everyone was exhausted from hauling our booties up the 74 stairs, (Dylan counted) over and over again to ride the slides, we went back to the room to get cleaned up for lunch. The waterslide park had a connected arcade that included not only the obligatory arcade games, but bowling, laser tag, indoor and outdoor mini golf, go-carts and bumper boats. Holly got this great deal with her room that came with tickets to play on all the fun. We all got to try everything several times. I have to say the go-carts were my favorite. Even tho I got in a bit of trouble from the go-cart boys, I enjoyed running into other people...sorry Dyl! HAHA After watching Jubilee for me while I rode the go-carts once, Mom Botts, (they caught up with us while we were in the water park), decided she needed to give it a go. Holly watched Jubilee for me while we jumped back onto the carts. This time we up graded to the single-rider, double the power carts! Dad, Troy, Mom, Jason and myself chose which cart we wanted based on which we thought was fastest....this was, after all a race to the death. I was in the lead for quite a while, but Troy would NOT have me beating him at anything so I was soon over taken. After a couple laps around Mom I realized she was going reallllllllllly slow. It was like she was on a sunday drive from the old folks home. I kept my attention on Dad and Troy - trying desperately to catch up. Then just when I was about to pass him, Troy spins out on the corner, I hit him - Dad Botts zooms past me once again to win. So I didnt win, but Troy spun out and I got to crash into him which was very satisfying.

We stayed at the waterpark/arcade until closing then went back with Mom and Dad to the campground. The campground was right across the highway from Silverwood Theme Park. Its not as big as Six Flags or Carowinds, but the first thing you see as you drive past it is a HUGE wooden roller coaster. Just seeing that got me all excited for the next day. Well that, and the fact that Silverwood's mascot is Garfield....and well, the thought of actually seeing him the next day got me all tingly.

Actually, the tinglyness may have also been caused by the massive thunderstorm! It started mildly at the waterpark. But by the time we were driving back to the campground, it had gone full force. There were two systems, both shooting lightning into the sky with pounding thunder following right after each double strike. It was AWESOME. I loved every second. Troy, on the other hand, was a big wuss and refused to sleep in the tent for fear of being struck down. And me, being the good wife I am.....just laughed and made fun of him.

TUESDAY: The storms lasted pretty much all night, but by the time the park opened at 11am the storms were gone and left just a little drizzly rain behind. This did not deter me at ALL from my purpose of riding roller coasters and meeting Garfield so I donned my Concho and we all walked over to Silverwood. Our first stop was the merry-go-round. Jubilee lovvvvvvvvved it. Since leaving on Saturday everyone would exclaim, "We're on vacation!" and Jubilee would say, "nooooo...not yet!" In Chelan while in the sun, swimming and having fun we would ask her, "Jubilee, are we on vacation yet?" "Nope! Not yet!" While we were having fun in the water park and playing games in the arcade we asked her again....and she would reply, "Nope! Not yet, I dont see a merry-go-round!" So finally while on the merry-go-round I asked her, "Jubilee, are you on vacation NOW?" She just grinned and nodded her head.

After the merry-go-round we hit a couple other little rides and the Corkscrew. It was Silverwood's only upside-down roller coaster. I loved it! It was a short ride, but DANG fast! Plus it sent you through two loop-da-loops! I loved every second, except being the shorty shrimp I am, the top of my hard plastic shoulder harness settled around my ears and temples. So going so fast around that track, I got jostled side to side while my head and ears slammed into the harness. This hurt, and being the resourceful problem solving genius I am, I held onto my shoulder harness, putting my hands right next to my ears hoping to soften the blows. This only resulted in my face hitting my hands at gravity defying force. It was like I was punching myself in the face so I gave up and let my head bounce around the shoulder harness. Yes, it hurt - but I rode this ride 3 more times.

We spent the rest of the day running all over the park riding everything that was open. Not all the rides were open due to the off and on again rain, but it made for really short lines! Tremors, the HUGE wooden roller coaster was just amazing. It has long steep drops that send you 8 feet underground and make you feel like youre going to be decapitated as you enter the tunnel. WOOHOO! I lost track how many times I rode this one, but I will not forget the ONE time Mom Botts rode it. She had a few choice expletives for us as she staggered off the ride. Dylan convinced her it "wasnt that bad". HAHAHAHA Dad told Mom to be happy...that for about 15 seconds she was wrinkle-free!

Because Jubilee is only 35 inches and you had to be at least 42 to ride even with an adult, she didnt get to ride anything but kiddie rides. Not that I would have taken her on a roller coaster, but Mom Botts did manage to sneak her onto the Scrambler. She giggled and "weeeeeeeeeeeeee'd" her way through it....she is fearless!

Throughout the day I kept my eyes peeled for Garfield. This, afterall, was my destiny. To meet him face to face. Finally when our day was almost over and I had not seen even a hint of orange fur, we asked a park employee, "Where is Garfield???" She said, "Oh I dont think he's coming out today. Its a bit rainy and cats dont like water!" *blinks* WHAT!? I drove across the state, endured HOURS in the Grocery Getter with Troy, and I dont get to meet GARFIELD?! WHAT A CROCK!!!! I was sad...shed a tear....and hit the roller coaster again.

We saved the water rides for last. We made good use of our Conchos and strategically placed them so we wouldnt get wet. That is until Tyler put a quarter in the machine that lets you shoot spouts of water onto the ride from the sidelines! REVENGE WILL BE MINE TYLER! After staying nice and dry all day inside my bright yellow poncho, (nacho-concho for those of you in the know), Tyler had drenched me head to toe in one shot.

At closing time we headed back to the campground and got warm and dry. We ate a little something, Juju got to talk to Jack on the phone, and I got my booty WHOOPED at golf....three times in a row. We dropped exhausted into bed early so we could make the 3 hour drive to Blue Lake the next day.

WEDNESDAY: We drove to Blue Lake only stopping once while Troy got pulled over for speeding. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the slowest man on earth got a ticket for speeding. His first by the way. *snickers*

Blue Lake Resort is very rustic. The lake is calm, it was warm but windy, and there was nothing to do but relax and fish. For the next two days we did lots of both. Jubilee had fun throwing rocks and wading into the water. Very relaxing two days after a fun-filled week.

FRIDAY: We headed home early yesterday morning. We stopped several times for potty breaks and had lunch at Hooters with the Wick 5 in Tacoma. The Hooters Girls loved Juju and gave her a balloon. We also stopped at the Silverdale mall on the way and picked up Jubilee's 3 year portraits. It was a relaxing ride home. I have to say I am so proud of Juju on this trip. There were no melt-downs, no problems, no potty accidents, no incidents of sick of being stuck in a car seat... besides a few whiney moments where a nap was needed, and a couple moments in a naughty corner, she was an absolute joy. Im a lucky mommy. For being so good on the trip, Jubilee got to pick out a prize at the Disney store, (no I didnt spontaneously combust upon entering the store...but I did feel like I sold out a bit). She chose a Little Mermaid lantern and a Little Mermaid car. I was surprised she didnt pick out something Jasmine since Aladdin has been her movie of choice lately, but apparently Ariel is still queen or..err... princess.

I have some pictures from the trip and will post those soon.

The Never-Ending Job Interview

So remember WAYYYYYY back in April I interviewed for an HR position for a yacht building company? .....still waiting to hear whether or not I have the job. This is the strangest job interview process Ive ever seen. Although, the company has had a string of bad luck when it comes to their HR dept which has slowed down the process significantly. Im told they are very interested in me, but cannot extend a job offer as of yet, and I should hear from them by the end of this week. They are doing what they can to make sure they have the best individual for the job, and I can appreciate that. I will write more about this whole process, but probably should wait until its all said and done. Its quite a story. Im still apprehensive about leaving Jubilee and going back to work, but lets face it - there are some good points to having money too. Plus, now that Ive gone through the process of interviewing, reading policy, and hearing more about the day to day operation of the company, Im kind of excited about being in that HR hub that is the center of an organization.



Saturday we're leaving on our annual camping trip to Eastern Washington. Usually its just a weekend stay at Lake Chelan then relax the rest of the week at Blue Lake. However, this year Holly and I convinced Dad to drive the extra couple hours to Silverwood Theme Park in Idaho. Jubilee, (and the rest of us) is sooooooo excited. I should have some good stories to share when we get home. We are fully prepared for a cross-state trip with a three year old. I have various activities and books for boredom, snacks, and even her old little potty seat so she wont have to crouch behind scotchbroom on the side of the road. Jubilee does really well on long car rides, so Im not anticipating any problems 9 hours in the car- but the portable DVD player with The Little Mermaid in it ready and waiting eases my mind.



Here's a pic of Rachel and I.... we went out and saw The Nasty Habits the other night. Girls night out!

The Birthday Girl

First of all let me start by making the feeble promise of trying to be a better blogger. Im so lame! But I really do like the idea of having this little place to archive day to day events in Jubilee's life - so I promise I will try to write more.

Whats been going on? Well the biggest news, at least for today, is that Jubilee is 3! It doesnt seem that long ago that we were finally bringing her home from the hospital after a 10 day stay in the NICU.





One Day Old














Three Years Old





















Jubilee is super excited about her birthday. Today the plans include making cupcakes, a special field trip with her school friends, and she gets anything she wants for dinner. The birthday party itself will take place on saturday, complete with a Little Mermaid cake and roller skating. (Hopefully not the two combined.)

Her great-grandmother sent Juju a cute birthday card with some money in it. I told Juju she could pick out a present at the store. We spent lots of time wandering around the store until she settled on the DVD Aladdin. (As much as I loathe Disney, I have to admit this is one of my favorites.)

Im off to cover 30 cupcakes in pink frosting for a gaggle of three year olds!

At Least Jubilee Isnt Pearl

I love Will Ferrel.

HOLY Culottes Batman, A BLOG!

(Yes, I had to look up the correct spelling of "culottes".)

Ok, ok, ENOUGH with the emails...Im blogging again. And NO Aunt Jan, I wasnt blogging because I dont get enough protein. Im going to start calling you Mom Botts #2 and we'll start making fun of your hair.

Not a lot has been going on since I last blogged. We had the first camping trip of the year over Easter weekend. It was too cold for us tent-campers, but Juju spent the night with Meema in the trailer. There was also some great sand candle-making, easter egg hunting, and concho-wearing. (Concho= The Condom-Poncho....you had to be there.) Juju spent much of the weekend jumping in puddles with her lady bug boots. She loves to be outdoors and is a true camping kid.

I guess the biggest thing for me to report about at this point is going back to work. I love being a stay at home mommy. Dont get me wrong...there are days that by 6pm I want to pull out my hair if I hear the word, "Mom-mom???" one more time. But I really do love the fact that I get to teach my daughter what she knows, I get to decide what to teach her, and I dont have to have someone else raise her for a whole 3rd of the day. I like that she isnt in a day care situation, (that I would have to spend much of my income on anyway), where she would be exposed to increased sickness and questionable disciplinary techniques that I probably wouldnt agree with. I like that we get to be creative with our time and how she gets to socialize. I like that I dont have to rush home from a job and try to spend quality time with her while I rush to make dinner, bathe her and put her to bed.

However, Mom Botts retired. She retired and OFFERED to watch Juju for me if I went back to work. This means no day care, and she'll be with someone who loves her and dinner could be done by the time I pick her up. And its FREE!

So obviously some of my concerns about going back to work are alleviated. Plus, there are benefits....like having some moolah. With Jamie and Jeff living in San Fransisco, Im bound to buy a plane ticket or two in the near future. I also like the idea of using my brain again besides just figuring out new ways to entertain a 2 year old.

Just around the time I was thinking about all this, what seems to be the perfect job for me is advertised in the classifieds. I got an early heads up from my sister who pretty much runs the ad department of our local paper. Its a Human Resources position for a local yacht building company. I would be responsible for all the HR needs of a large company with over 400 employees. This company has sites in Westport, Port Angeles, and Seattle. Its a big position. And, yep.... I turned in my resume and got a call yesterday. We had a mini-interview over the phone and I will be going in soon for an interview. I have not secured this position by any means yet, but if I do - it wont be like Im easing back into the workplace. It will be like Im doing a giant cannonball into a gigantic pool.

However, I cant help feeling a bit sad and bitter. Although there are many things in the "pro" column of me returning to work, my heart truly is with my daughter and being home for her. I feel its important for her development and for what I envisioned for her life. If I go back to work will I regret it for years to come? Once I get used to that income it will be hard to give up again. Honestly, I may have never considered going back to work if I hadnt felt a bit pressured by Troy. I think he wasnt completely honest about his feelings of me staying home. He obviously is bitter about having the pressure of being the sole breadwinner at this point. I think I will like working again....and all the benefits that go along with having a job....and a job in a field I enjoy and do well. But I like being only a Mommy more. Its a harder job. More frustration. More work than any other job Ive ever had. But its truly the only thing that means anything. So, if its meant to be, and I get this job, I will work even harder at making my time with Jubilee count.

On a lighter note - here is your Cuteness Allotment for the day. Some pics of a baby miniature pony named Knee-high who belongs to my friend Joe's family, and some pics of Juju camping and on Easter. ENJOY!

"And dont under-estimate the importance of BOBBY LANG-GAUGE!"

Its all about The Little Mermaid. Every where we go, anyone who comes into close proximity of Jubilee gets to hear about The Little Mermaid. "Ihavelittlemermaidmovie.Sheloseshervoice...ahhhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhh." (As she imitates Ariel's singing.)

Im not a huge fan of Disney. I think its an evil corporation that will one day take over the world and make us slaves to the mouse. However, I do enjoy The Little Mermaid. I like Aladdin and the Lion King too....but thats as far as I go! Dont ask me to like any others....you might as well set me on fire. But, I digress...

Jubilee lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvves The Little Mermaid and being the parrot she is, she has picked up a few lines from the movie. I guess watching it every day will do that to a toddler. When she learned the words to "Part of Your World" I was impressed. When she imitates Ariel singing to Prince Eric as she splashed in the bathtub, I was amused. When she used her fork in her hair and demanded that it was a "dinglehopper" and not a fork, I dutifully agreed. However, when she learned to put her hand on her hip, shake her booty and say, "dont forget about BOBBY LANG-GUAGE!", I was disturbed. Ok, yes....seeing her little tooshy shake and talk in such a provocative tone such as Ursula does was funny as hell at first. But as she does it more and more Im thinking....maybe thats not the most appropriate thing for a two year old to be doing. I wish I could put a video here for you to see. Its quite a sight!

Tequila, Dancing, and Poo-Poo Rockets

Mom Botts' retirement party was a success! She had a great time with LOTS OF VODKA! Oh..and an upside down tequila shot too:



And after the shot.....

HAHA! She is soooo going to kill me for posting this pic. Dylan took the picture so Im not TOTALLY to blame.

She even got Jack to dance with her:

...so she could feel up his booty again.

Juju sang a song....

...and flopped (danced) around a lot.



We all had a really good time. Thanks to everyone who came and who helped us. It was awesome having everyone honor my mama!

Moving On - Time to Party

Ive kind of been avoiding my blog since my mind has been almost completely consumed with Aunt Donna's passing. As sad as I am and as much as I miss her, I know her as well as I know myself. She would want me to happy for where she is right now, and live my life with joy. ....so Im going to try and do that.

This weekend is the BIG retirement party for my Mom. She has worked for 20 years at the Peninsula Daily News and now feels its time to let go of that stress and chill out! YAY! My sister, my cousin Janet, and I along with some of Mom's co-workers are throwing her a big retirement party. Complete with a band and a stripper! (HAHAHA.... just kidding Mom Botts! ....kidding about ONE of them anyway.) Im really looking forward to seeing family, having fun and honoring my Mama! Even Jack is coming which I think made Mom Botts pee with excitement.

Holly and I are spending some of today and all of tomorrow in prep for the party. We're hitting Costco tonight to clean the place out of food, napkins and utensils. In addition to the food we're buying, we're also each cooking something. Holly is making something we lovingly call Poo-Poo Rockets. Dont know what that is? Come to the party and find out!

Processing the Grief

You know what sucks about this? I mean, besides my family hurting, besides the boys not understanding that their grandma isnt coming back, besides making ridiculous and horrendous plans for a loved ones body, ....you know what really sucks? My brain doesnt seem to get that my Aunt Donna is gone. My heart knows it. I can tell because it still hurts. But my brain will wander off into its own little world. It will think about all of the upcoming plans I made with Aunt Donna as if they are still on. It will make mental lists of the things I need to do and then think, "Hmm...I bet Aunt Donna will want to come with me." It will think of stupid funny things and then try to remind me to tell my Aunt Donna about it later. Each time this happens I have to remind my brain I can no longer do those things. ....and it really REALLY is getting quite frustrating.

For anyone who is interested and hasnt heard yet, the memorial service for my Aunt Donna is February 24th at 11am, at Lighthouse Christian Center.

Sad Day

Yesterday, my Aunt Donna and best friend passed away. I knew her since I was 7, and over the years our relationship grew from auntie and niece, to friends and to practically sisters. She was an amazing person with a heart like no other. RIP Auntie.

Holy Hell, is it February?

I cant believe it is February already. And I say "already" as if the first week isnt already over. ACK!

Most of my time lately has been entertaining an under-the-weather Juju bean. She is still sick with no change. Im taking her back in tomorrow for a follow-up as Dr. Kathie said to come back if she wasnt better by the end of this week. Her spirits are mostly the same ole Juju, but once in a while she will decline something to eat, or decide The Little Mermaid isnt the cinematic masterpiece she usually is convinced it is, and says, "I dont feel good." When I say Ive been spending my time entertaining her, I mean Ive been following her around with numerous damp Kleenex in my pockets trying to catch the snot as it runs out of her tiny nostrils. I consider it a successful day if Ive caught the Snot River before it flows over her lips into her mouth.

I am still recovering nicely from surgery and learning life after gastric bypass. Ive learned specifically that you shouldnt gulp half a glass of ice water no matter how thirsty you are. If your stomach can only hold 2 ounces, it really will only hold 2 ounces...then the rest will come right back up. To date Ive lost 63lbs. Ive had a couple people say something to the effect of surgery being the "easy way" to lose weight. While the surgery has been and will be a really great tool for me, it hasnt been easy by any means. I still am changing habits, changing the way I eat, and dealing with lots of icky side effects of the surgery. Losing weight the traditional way would have been MUCH easier had that worked for me and worked for me in a long term situation. One of the hardest things for me to deal with so far is the nausea. I wake up with it every morning and Im told it will eventually go away. One of the things that make me soooooo utterly nauseated are protein drinks. I am supposed to drink 4 a day. They make me gag by just smelling the powder. Its not a pleasant situation. However, my body needs the whey protein contained in these drinks. Whey protein combines with regular protein, (found in meat, beans, and other foods), to make amino acids which builds muscle. I am losing not only fat, but losing so rapidly that my muscle mass is shrinking also. If I do not replenish the protein needed to keep my lean mass, my body will eventually start eating things I need - like my liver, my heart, kidneys, etc. ACK! So yesterday when I was a good girl and told my surgeon at my follow up appt that NO I do not drink those evil, vile protein drinks, he sorta lectured me. Well, not sorta...I felt like I was caught by my pastor doing something dirty in the church baptismal. (Not that ever happened!) Basically, if I do not start taking my protein, they will reverse the surgery so I can eat enough to keep myself healthy. And I think I would rather gag my way through a protein drink than go through the surgery and subsequent complications again. So, today...I drank one. One...yep, just one. But hey, better than none!

Saturday is my 11th wedding anniversary. Lets all give a golf clap that Troy is still alive...or even me for that matter.

Saturday Im going roller skating! VERY excited about that... I reconnected with some girls from high school, (shout out to Pad, Jami, Carm, and Mescha), and we're meeting up with our kids at the skating rink. OMG, Juju on skates...this will be funny. Pictures to come!

The Best Thing I Saw on TV This Week

Snot, Cough, Sigh

Its almost 4:30am and this is the 3rd time Ive been woken up by Juju having a coughing fit tonight. I feel so awful for her. She has a horrible cold and is soooo congested. She coughs so hard that she gags and occasionally throws up. Then after throwing up she cries and apologizes over and over again as if she did something wrong.

So just now I put her back to bed with some decongestant. I told her the story of the Frog Prince. She got to pick the names. Froggie Orange and Princess Purple. We're going to draw pictures of them today when she gets up.

"Stitch" No Longer!

Today Jubilee got her stitches out. My Dad took to calling her "Stitch" this week, and so he cant call her that any longer!

Jubilee was hilarious at the doctor office. She was a total jabber mouth: "Hi doctor!" to anyone who would walk by...even if they werent a doctor. Once she got up on the table, she layed down on that crinkley paper and announced, "My bed is broken....I need this one." She said that over and over even through my correcting her that her bed is NOT broken. I can just imagine what this nurse now thinks of me. "Omg, they make this kid sleep in a broken bed??? No wonder she has stitches!" Jubilee loved the paper covering on the table/bed. She kept scissoring her legs in and out across it making that crinkling noise to the point of no one being able to hear themselves speak. Then Jubilee kept saying, "I get a sticker not candy!" How does this girl remember from MONTHS ago at her 2 year old check up that she doesnt get candy from the doctor, she gets a sticker???

When it was time to take her stitches out, Jubilee sat real still and didnt move. She didnt cry or even make a peep. Afterwards she got to hold her stitches in her hand.

Since we were at the doctor's office and Jubilee hadnt been seen yet in the new year, the nurse took all her stats:

Weight: 23.8lbs - 3rd percentile
Height: 34 inches - 10th percentile (WOO! This is up from 5th percentile!)
Head: 90th percentile ( Those brains are still growing!)

I figure at the rate she's going, she'll eventually be shaped like a tomato on a toothpick.

Pic of Juju with a Boo-Boo

This picture is from this morning. Her bump looks soooo much better today than last night. I cant believe so much blood came out of that little cut. The ER doc said she would have some bruising and maybe even a black eye. But so far so good...no bruising! We had a hard time getting the gauze off of it this morning...and the tape was tangled in her hair. She didnt like me messing with it for that long and wasnt happy. Other than that she is a trooper and doesnt even realize she has a lump with a couple stitches. When she is reminded she says, "I have a boo-boo! The doctor made it all better and I get party when my stitches come out!!" I have no idea where she got the party idea from, but I think I like it.

Our First ER Visit

I was hoping to put this off for at least another 20 years, but apparently Jubilee had different plans.

We spent about 3 hours in the emergency room tonight resulting in 2 stitches for Juju. Yes, only two. But if you were going to count my anxiety, the tears (from both Juju and myself), and the amount of time we had to wait before even getting into the ER, you would think she had about 20 stitches.

Our mistake was rearranging the bedroom. I wanted my bed in a different spot and damn me for wanting to spruce up the bedroom a bit. I had to have Troy lift and carry out the mattress and box spring so I could clean under the bed. Dust Bunnies abound! Anyway, while the mattress and box spring were gone, Jubilee thought it was really cool to play in and around the bed frame. I should have known better, I should have paid closer attention, I should have bubble wrapped her. Right in front of my eyes, and in seemingly slow motion, I watched her trip over a pillow and slam her head into a sharp metal corner of the bed frame. She hit her forehead hard right above her eye. There was instant crying from her and instant anxiety from me. I knew it would be bad. I scooped her up and gave her to Troy while I ran to get a bandage and some alcohol to clean her wound. By the time I got back to Jubilee I realized a little Dora bandage wasnt going to cut it. Blood was pulsing from her cut, covering her hands and forehead and dripping down Troy's hand and arm. "Get in the van!", I think I remember saying. I put a paper towel over her cut and we headed for the hospital. I swear I got behind every 90 year old driver and hit every yellow light possible on the way. By the time we got there Jubilee had finished crying and most of the blood was dry. She almost looked like she was royalty at Carrie's prom. She kept looking at her hands with the dried blood on them saying, "Jelly? I got jelly on my hands?" Her cut was just oozing at this point, but I was still a mess. I was signing her in and she kept saying, "Im sorry Mommy... Im sorry." I kept telling her it wasnt her fault, and she did nothing wrong - it would all be ok. Then she said, "Dont cry Mommy, be happy. Im ok!"

My family met me at the hospital just for support I think. I was a way bigger mess than Juju was. We all watched her play in the waiting room and by the way she acted you would never have thought she was gushing blood from her forehead 30 mins before. She was saying hi to other ER patients and announcing to the them that she "had a boo-boo". Once we saw the doctor she was her usual self asking them questions and saying her normal cute things. When it was time for the stitches they burrito'd her up in a warm blanket and she thought that was pretty cool. She only cried when they gave her a few shots of the numbing agent and once those were over she calmed right down. She endured it all like such a trooper. Much better than her mommy did.

Now she is home and finally in bed. She loves to see her boo-boo in the mirror and talk about seeing the doctor. We have to go back on friday to have the stitches removed.

I still feel awful. I shouldnt have let her play around the bed frame. I should have caught her....should have ....done....something. Bad mommy.

Baby in the Oven/ Sexist Remarks

Not MY "oven"....an actual oven! http://www.local6.com/news/10723021/detail.html

What the hell?! How does someone get to the point of thinking, "I am so pissed off at my boyfriend, I think I'll just put my baby in the oven and turn it on. THAT will show him!" I dont get it. But, I guess no one really would understand if you were in your right mind.

I find myself going back and forth from thinking this woman is obviously disturbed. Even in an intoxicated state the safety of your own child would be something you held in high regard. She obviously has some sort of mental discrepancy,....right? Or is it that she is perfectly sane and just so screwed up that the very basic and natural nurturing that occurs as a mother never kicked in? I dont even know why Im trying to make sense of it. I cant.


On another subject all together, let me tell you about the sexist remarks I made - and I stand by them. Let me explain the situation, and you all can chime in on whether or not you think I was ignorant in doing so.

Today I read an article in the newspaper about a 14 year old boy convicted of molestation of a 6 year old girl. He happened to be in charge of the nursery in a local church. I thought that was ridiculous. First of all, I think 14 is way too young to be in charge of a whole nursery of children. I dont know how many kids were in there, but if I was a parent in need of the church nursery, walked in and saw one 14 year old boy - I would turn around and walk out. Secondly, I do NOT believe teenage boys (or males in general) should be in charge alone of a nursery or day care situation. Why? Not because I dont trust teenage boys or believe they arent capable of taking care of children. In fact my nephew Dylan has watched Jubilee for me numerous times and I trust him with Jubilee's life whole heartedly. I felt it was SUCH a poor choice for whoever made the decision to make this 14 year old in charge of children because statistically sexual predators are predominantly male. In a situation like a church nursery where there are not strict county/state guidelines or policy to not be alone with a child, its too easy for a case of abuse to occur. If a female were a sexual predator its much less likely to happen in a day care scenario. Again, not my opinion - just reality.

When I expressed my surprise of the article and that they chose to have a 14 year old boy in charge, my sister was appalled at my statements. She told me I was being sexist, and I suppose I was - but I stand by it. I'd rather be sexist than sorry. I wouldnt risk Jubilee's well-being and innocence to be politically correct. I would never leave her with a male I didnt know inside out....especially in a day care/nursery situation.

What do you think? Should a parent give equal opportunity no matter what? Leave your comments!

I Ate Steak!

Oh yes I did! I ate steak! I think it was about an ounce! .....and it was YUMMY. For those of you who do not think this is cause to celebrate - try dry-heaving every day for about 6 weeks, then eating nothing but mushy things for two weeks. Omg, it was glorious! I also ate 1/2 a deviled egg with shrimp in it. (Or 1/2 a butt-egg for you who know who you are. ;-) ) Afterwards everything settled in my tummy nicely and I felt like I had eaten Thanksgiving dinner.

It feels wonderful to live in the world of "normal" again. I am having strange and STRONG cravings though. Im sure its because Im told I "cant" have certain things yet, so I want them - just like the true rebellious girl I am. Im being good though. Mostly out of fear. For example, they say not to have soda. I quit drinking soda MONTHS before surgery and never missed it. Now, damn if I just could have a Diet Mountain Dew I would die happy! So strange to all of a sudden want something you didnt before. I also crave salad horribly bad. I can have salad, but not until Wednesday. That will make me over two months out from surgery and all solids get a green light.

Another strange thing about me since surgery is Ive become addicted to the Food Network. I guess my brain figures if I cant eat it, Im going to watch people cook it. Actually, its been quite fun. I find myself wandering the kitchen gadget aisles at Wally World and fantasizing about Pampered Chef parties. I have some really great ideas and recipes for camping this year that I cant wait to try out on my family. They are sooooo going to be my guinea pigs! (Pun intended)

Ive gotten a lot of people asking me, "So, how much have you lost??" I know people are curious and its a natural thing to ask when people see you shrink even a little bit. But honestly, I dont find myself hung up on that number as I thought I would. I dont even weigh myself very often. To me, it really is all about being healthier and getting rid of PCOS as much as I possibly can through weight loss. But, to satisfy anyone who is still curious, as of this morning I have lost exactly 50lbs. 50 pounds in 8 weeks. My weight did go up a bit as I was getting out of the hospital. Getting adequate fluids back in my body counted for about 6lbs!!

Now...if I can only remember to get all my fluids in!

Soaring Vocab

When Jubilee was a baby, there was plenty of things she was behind on according to development charts. Almost anything having to do with gross motor skills, she did late. However, talking and her vocabulary went the other direction. Her first word at 7 months was "Mom-Mom", and thats what she still calls me occasionally.

Ive written in this blog before about how its a good thing Im not too shy because she introduces me while we're in any public place:

"Hi! Im Juju. *points to me* and Mom-Mom."

Well, its only progressed from there. Now she has on-going conversations with people in the store. Even if they arent aware they are involved in the conversation. She really doesnt give them the choice:

*grumpy old man shuffles by...*

Juju: "HI!!" *pauses to wait for a response* "I have a Dora Castle!"

*grumpy old man continues to shuffle without responding or looking at Jubilee*

Juju...louder: "HI!!....HI!!...HI!!...HIIIIIIIIII!"

*grumpy old man shuffles out of sight*

This however didnt come close to deterring her. Instead she waited for two old ladies who were happy to talk to a cute little girl dressed in pink.

Old Ladies: "Oh she is so cute all in pink today!!"

Juju: "Hi! DANG you!" (This is how she pronounces Thank You....we're working on it.) "I have pink boots too!"

Old Ladies: "Why yes you do, they are pretty pink boots."

Juju: "Soooooo cute!" *pauses to adore her own boots* "IhaveadoracastledaddyputittogetherformeandIplaywith it and there is dora and dieeeeeegoooooooooooooooo!"

Old Ladies: *staring at me to interpret*

Me: "OH... she said she has a Dora Castle, and that her Dad put it together for her and she plays with it, and Dora and Diego."

Juju: "Thats my Mommy.....OF course."

Old Ladies: "Oooooh, you must be about two?"

Juju: *nodding* "I have my birthday and a party with balloons and cake."

Old Ladies: "Ooooooh you cute little thing, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Me: *trying to explain its not really her birthday...* "NO...its not her...."

Juju: "ITS MY BIRTHDAY!? YAAAAAAAAY! Presentssssssssss!!!!"

Me: "No, its not your birthday..not yet...."

Juju: "YAAAAY Cake and presentsssssss!"

Jubilee is already looking forward to any occasion with cake and presents. Auntie's birthday is coming up, (my sister Holly), and Jubilee's present to Auntie is going to be a cake.....and Jubilee is making it. God help me.

Storms of the Century

Ok, I know I havent lived for a century, but thats what it seems like around Western Washington lately. We usually have mild weather here...to the point of frustrating me because I lovvvvvvve the snow. One thing we always have in abudance is rain.

This year is a little different. Starting back in November we've had storm after storm! Windstorms to be exact. I could sit here and type to you all the stats - instead, I'll show you pictures:






The first picture is of one of our trees resting on the neighbors house. Thank god for insurance! That tree completely totaled the house because it smashed almost every truss in the roof. They are in process of rebuilding now, but what a pain in the heiney! The second picture is of the ginormous tree that totally uprooted in my sisters yard. It barely missed their neighbors cars. WHEW!

Thats how powerful the wind has been around here. When it blows it sounds like a freight train coming through. Windows rattle, loud thuds on the roof, sounds of trees and branches crackling and tearing apart... its like Im expecting to see my mom riding her bike past my window in the sky! (HAHAHA...sorry Mom ....I love you!)

I used to love storms of any kind...and I still love a good thunderstorm. However, once the cedar tree that sits right outside and next to Jubilee's room broke in half and landed inches from her bedroom window, Im not so hot for them anymore. THANK GOD it didnt land on her room because the angle of where the tree sits, it really should have. We also had two other trees fall over in the back yard, but they were smaller and only landed on the carport with minimal damage. So now the sound of the wind crashing through our neighborhood just creates a sense of anxiety and the immediate need to evacuate the house. We usually high-tail it to Troy's parents house where the most potentially damaging tree is a cute little apple tree.

Our yard is still covered in debris and broken branches. We are in the process of seeing if we cant get the trees removed from our yard since they seem to be destroying our neighbor's houses.

In other news, my sister-in-law Sharon had her baby. I got to be there for the delivery and help her through labor. She was amazingly strong. Its her first baby and she was in labor for 21 hours! She pushed like a pro, using all of her contractions, pushing long and hard for 2 hours! I was quite impressed. Camden Matthew was born at 11:29pm healthy as can be!