Jubilee and her Boys

Juju and her great grandfather, Jim. She calls him "Big Papa".









Juju and her Uncle Andy.









Juju and her Uncle Matt.

Juju in her Uncle Jason's hat with Uncle Jason's beer.

Juju and Uncle Jason.

Juju and her cousin Dylan.


Juju and her Papa, (my Dad).

The Drunk Stages of Aunt Donna

This weekend marks the annual Botts/McGinley family reunion and I am so excited. First of all, while we camp all the time throughout the summer with family, this is the only camping trip that my Dad's side of the family joins us. Life and very little time always gets in the way, so the third weekend in July is always set aside for everyone to get together.

Why is this more exciting than other camping trips? Lots of reasons. I get to see family I dont see very often, we usually camp at Salt Creek - which is not one of our normal spots, and mostly ...because its the one time of year that Aunt Donna gets so drunk she can barely walk or talk. First off, Aunt Donna does embarressing and hilarious things almost daily. She is just that type of person. She is constantly doing things to humiliate herself...and not on purpose. Add alcohol to that dynamic and you have one entertaining weekend. Its better than Jackass on steroids.

This is a series of pictures from a years past family reunion of Aunt Donna drinking. You can see her get progressively drunk as time goes on....



This is the first margarita. No problem.


By now she's probably had 2 or 3. The hysterical and uncontrollable laughing has begun. This is also the Incoherant Talk stage. She sounds like a mixture of a cat screeching and Beaker from the Muppet Show. No one can understand her.

This is what I like to call The Oblivious Stage. In these pictures it was her birthday and her birthday crown was falling from her angelic head. ....and she was totally oblivious.


This is the most entertaining stage for all to witness. I call it The Snorting Stage. Now she is laughing uncontrollably, talking like a screeching cat/Beaker, and snorting.

The Cut-Off Stage. Needs no explaination. At this point she cant walk and barely can sit up in her chair, let alone reach up to fix her crooked tiara.

We leave today and get back Sunday. Hopefully I will have great pictures of Drunk Aunt Donna to post! Cant wait for the party to begin!!

Warning: Mommy Brag Ahead

I know Juju is special... and even if in reality she wasnt, I would still think so because Im the Mommy. But she really is.

In the past week alone Ive had 4 people, (two strangers on a ferry, 1 relative who met her for the first time last week, and one lady at school.), who said talking to Jubilee was like talking to a 4 or 5 year old. I dont really know if thats true...I dont know a lot of 4 or 5 year olds that I talk to as much as I talk to Jubilee, but since more than one person unrelated to us said so, Im tending to believe it.

Jubilee has always been ahead when it comes to social and verbal skills. Doctors comment on that regularly. I dont notice it as much because I see her everyday. But I am happy thats the case considering she was behind in motor skills for so long.

We went to the library yesterday, (where I picked up Twilight - thank you Elizabeth), and they have a playhouse in the childrens section. Its equpped with a play kitchen, dishes, a telephone, table and chairs, and even a real doorway. I sat down so Jubilee could play in it for a while and soon two girls around age 5 came to join her. They started to play "Restaurant" and included Jubilee in everything they did. I sat and giggled to myself as they went through the motions of making and serving me coffee, tea, milk, and ice cream. Then the clean up and the bill. Jubilee seemed to understand the concept of all this and gave me a pretend piece of paper, "Money please." I loved watching them as they didnt break character once and worked flawlessly together to run the best restaurant I'd ever been to.

She can count to 20, knows all her colors, can sing about 5 songs, and we're working on her ABC's.

We've been working on Jubilee's manners a lot also. As long as she isnt over-tired, she is catching on. For example if you ask if she wants something to eat, she will answer, "No, thanks." or "Yes, please." (Most of the time.) If she is at the table and finished eating she will say, "May I be excused?" (Sounds more like, "May s'cused?") If she bumps into you she will apologize and if she burps she says, "excuse me", (sounds like "oopsy"). Dont get me wrong...she is still 2 years old and reminds us often.

Obviously I am a proud Mommy. I know we're lucky to have such a smart kid. I love that as she gets older Im still reminded of what a miracle she is.

Some People Just Make Me Shake My Head

I had an interesting experience at WalMart today. When we, (Aunt Donna, Juju and myself), parked we noticed the car directly in front of us had two pug dogs locked in the car. It was easily 75-78 degrees outside - thats hot for Ghettosville. Upon further inspection, the windows were rolled up! I got out and heard the lady parked next to me was talking into her cell phone. She was clearly talking about the dogs trapped in the hot car. She said, "Im calling the cops about those dogs!" Just then one of the dogs appeared in the back window and was heaving/gasping for air. It was clearly in distress. The lady - Jessica, said that she had just gotten in her car and it was easily 100 degrees inside from being in the store for 10 mins. These dogs were overheating. The police transferred her to animal control who apparently were on their way to free the dogs. In the meantime, the police had instructed Jessica to have someone go in and page the owner of the car. Aunt Donna went inside to do that while I stayed with Jessica until Animal Control showed up.

About 15 mins later the man who owned the car showed up. I was so relieved he was going to open the door for those dogs. Jessica said, "Sir, I just wanted you to know that I had to call animal control to try and help your dogs. I dont know if you realize, but it is too hot for them in the car...." Jessica was very polite...and I was suprised because she was quite pissed off those dogs were in distress. Instead of even letting Jessica finish her sentence, this man instantly became angry. He accused Jessica of harrassing him and said he was filing a complaint against her. As he yelled, and I do mean loud, he was coming toward her jabbing his finger in the air as if that drove his point home. Jessica backed away and said she was scared of him now. I agreed at this point he seemed crazy. I guess if this happened to me, (I would never lock my dogs in a hot car), but IF if it was me and I didnt agree with the person confronting me...I would just say goodbye and leave. This man was ranting and raving as if Jessica had been angrily accusing him of animal cruelty when in fact she was much nicer than I thought she should be. After yelling and ranting at her, he got back into his car....leaving his windows up. I know it had to easily be 100 or 110 degrees in that car. He had a hat and a coat on. After maybe 2 mins, he stepped out of his car again and I said, "Wow, hot in there is it??" He waved his cell phone at us and said, "I called the cops on your ass. You two are in deep shit now! Im sueing you for harrassment! I know vetrenarians!" *blinks* I couldnt help but to laugh. It was obvious he had some mental instability at this point. Jessica however was still a little scared and decided to leave before animal control got there. I had Juju in my arms and there was no way I was standing there alone, so I went inside the store. By the time we came out, he was gone.

I really cant believe somone would lock their dogs up like that...or even act like that when approached by someone in an attitude of concern...not confrontation. Thank God my Mom taught me better manners. Crazy people can have them too you know!

I Am So TIRED

I woke up at 4:30am and I cant go back to sleep. I didnt even go to bed until midnight. Its 6:00am now and Jubilee is already starting to make her waking up noises. (A combo of growling and moaning.) That feeling really annoys me of being so so tired but not being able to drift off. It makes me cranky! I think I'll go take a bath while Juju wakes up.

Happy 3rd...errr...4th of July!

The Fourth came and went without much hooplah. Usually we do some kind of shindig at our house on the Fourth, but having a baby who usually hits the sack at 7:30pm puts a damper on that.

What we did instead was celebrate our Independence day on the 3rd. Dad had to go back to work on the 4th and it just seemed better for everyone involved. So we had a cookout at Mom and Dad's house consisting of yummy steak, corn on the cob, and potatoes. We all ate until we went into a meat coma and decided it was time for fireworks.

I write about my anxiety from time to time so most of you know that sometimes I get this illogical sense of doom about irrational things. For some reason I got this doomy feeling about the fireworks. I dont know if it was just the anxiety or the fact that I was divebombed by a Jumping Jack when I was a kid, but the irrational fear started bubbling up and prompted a question to my sister, (who bought the fireworks), "You didnt get anything that would start a fire did you???" In my head, the question totally made sense...but as it spewed out of my mouth I realized it was retarded. My sister looked at me with that loving look that only a sister can give that says, You Dumbass, and said, "No...I got fireless works. They're just 'works'." Nothing like the sharp sarcasm of your sister to snap you out anxiety-land.

So we headed back to my house to do the Fireless Works and nothing caught on fire. (Although I think maybe the neighbors were pretty hot considering we were putting on a full-blown Fourth of July show on the Third of July.) Jubilee loved the fireworks. It was more entertaining to watch her expressions than to watch the actual fireworks. She would open her mouth in a big "O" when something made a loud boom, and she would cover her mouth and gasp at all the pretty colors...then tell us all the pretty colors she saw. When a display would crackle and sparks would spill all over, she would wiggle her body sort of like she was dancing to the noise. It was quite cute.

Last night, (the actual Fourth of July), was just a quiet, (well, almost) night at home. Jubilee went to bed at her normal time and slept right through the fireworks going off around our house. There were none actually on our street, but just the next street over. Close enough to hear and see it all. Still she slept right on through without a peep. Awesome!

The rest of this week is going to be busy. Tonight Im going to try and see Superman Returns, and tomorrow I have to be in Federal Way for a doctors appt. Troy's grandfather is in town from California so we will be hanging out with them this weekend. I think we are going to Victoria, B.C. one day. I love Victoria... and no matter how many times I go, I always have to visit the wax museum's torture chamber. Love it!!!

Camping with the Fam

We went camping this weekend at Pleasant Harbor Resort in Brinnon. It sits right on the Hood Canal and its some of the most beautiful camping Ive done in a long time. We had great camping spots that overlooked the water, but with lots of trees around to provide shade in the 80+ degree weather we had all weekend. We also saw some wildlife, including bald eagles who seem to hover around our camping spots for two days. Janet took some great pictures of one that perched in a dead tree right above us. I will post those pictures when she sends them. She takes amazing pictures.

The resort had a pool and Makayla, Blake, Baylee and Dylan had a blast swimming in the pool every chance they got. Weather around here doesnt often get warm enough to swim, and the only pool available in Ghettosville is the ghetto public pool which is all inside. I took Jubilee into the water and she loved it. She wouldnt let me teach her how to go under the water, or even let go of her blue turtle life vest, but she did jump to me from the side of the pool. She would be shivering with her lips turning blue and saying, "More swimmin'!" She is such a campin' girl. She loves being outside and playing in the dirt. Although, if her hands get even the tiniest bit dirty - she will run to me and say, "Dewwty! Wash mah hands?" I think this camping trip Jubilee has gotten the dirtiest Ive ever allowed her to get. I thought it was ok considering she would play with bubbles...spill them all over herself, then we would go swimming in the pool with enough chlorine to kill the most stubborn germ. So between the bubbles and the pool, I figure we got a full blown bath in there.

Poor Mom Botts made this chicken dish on Saturday night. She was very excited about it because it was new and people who gave her the recipe raved about it. Wait...Im getting ahead of myself. First off, she didnt have all the ingredients. So she sent me to go fetch them from whatever store you can find in The Middle of NoWhere, Washington. Let me tell you - there are no grocery stores anywhere near where we were. Janet and I ended up at this "convenience store" in a BIG brick building. It reminded me of a prison building but with neon beer signs in tiny little windows. We walk in and the first thing you see is the old man who runs the place. You can tell he knows that his store is the closest thing to civilization for miles and miles. He barely acknowledged our arrival with glance that seemed to say, "Yep this is my store and I dont give a crap how dirty it is because Im all you've got lady." As you entered, to the left was a tall display of work boots, socks, various car, boat, trailer parts, and gloves. All seemingly from the 1970's and 80's. As you walked toward the back of the store, you apparently had entered the hardware/produce section...that is if you can count tiny sprouting potatoes and rotting bananas as produce. I knew it was also the hardware section by the hip boots, hammers and nails that were displayed conveniently next to the "fruit". Turn another corner and you found the "beauty" section which included nipple shields from the 1970's and nail polish that had long since been dried and stuck to the inside of the bottles. Going down the next isle you found a grand display of machetes, swords and ornate knives. I was amazed at this store. You could tell how long items had been sitting on the shelf by how thick the layer of dust was covering it. The most amazing thing about this store was it had all the ingredients Mom Botts needed to make her special chicken dish.

So back we went to our camp and eventually Mom Botts excused herself to make this tremendous chicken dish she was so excited to present. After a long anticipated wait, she brought the dish out for all to see. She set it down on the table and everyone gathered around. We all just stared at it for a second...speechless...searching for something positive to say. I cant remember if I actually said it out loud, but all I could think was, "OMG..its GREEN!" Not green like a spinich salad....but baby poop green. .....with chunks. Apparently it was dead silent for a little too long because Mom said, "What?!" That was our cue. We better be trying this green chunky chicken surprise. I tasted a bit with my finger and all I could think was, "Holy monkey...how long have those spices been on that store shelf!?!?!?" Then some brave soul, Blakey I think, took the first guinea pig bite, and as we all watched with cautious eyes, he gave us the ok....it tasted better than it looked. I tried some, and so did Dad Botts...in fact, I think he had seconds and thirds. It did indeed taste better than it looked. Good thing too! I think Mom Botts would have cursed us all if we didnt eat it.

She totally redeemed herself the next day by making the yummy traditional Breakfast Crap. (breakfast casserole that has affectionately come to be known as Breakfast Crap).

We love your crap Mom!!

The Juju Bean

You've Got To Be Kidding Me

Im going to try really hard not to make this blog entry a rant about Catholism. Mostly out of respect for anyone who reads this that is Catholic. I find many things about that sect of Christianity absolutely ridiculous and even damaging to people's spiritual well-being. But, I will try not to go there....

Instead I will focus on this.

What I find most disturbing is not that he seems to blame everyone around him for his transgressions, including the parents of the individuals he molested and raped - but the fact the catholic church knew all about his crimes, and did nothing about it. No, wait...not only did NOTHING, but kept crucial information from authorities that enabled O'Grady to continue to abuse children for years. They schleped him around from parish to parish to cover up the allegations and all the while giving him new and unsuspecting victims to prey on. I can only hope that God has a special place for them also...maybe as victims of O'Grady himself someday in hell.

While I know O'Grady is the lowest of disgusting creations, I dont feel much different about the church officials that enabled him to continue his abuse than I would about a mother who turns her head to the abuse that a father or step-father inflicts on their children. To me, the individuals who could have stopped O'Grady, and didnt, are the same as the monsters who buy and sell children for prostitution or, at most flattering, the slimy pimp on the street corner. Vile.

hot Hot HOT!

Well summer has officially started for us here in Ghettosville. Living in Port Angeles is always a guessing game when it comes to the weather. Seasons tend to blend together and only one common denominator exists: rain. Therefore, its always a pleasant surprise when we get hot weather. The past two days its been between 85-90 degrees. Considering most people here wear shorts when it hits 60 degrees, this is major here in Ghettosville. When its 90 degrees here you will often see various stages of dress in the grocery store...shoes optional. Its like rain in LA.... people over-react. At Wal-mart Im sure there was a rampage in the fan/kiddie pool isle. Today is supposed to get the warmest of all...up to 92 in some places. Im expecting Troy to come home with stories of people arriving at the store in their under-things towing their kids in dirty bathing suits and no shoes.

Jubilee is really digging the warm weather. We've been playing in the sprinkler and pouring cups of water all over ourselves. She discovered that if you turn the little knob on the faucet, the sprinkler can go really big...or really little. This is especially funny if you can catch Papa or Meema in the water.

The warm weather is supposed to last all week with it being hot again next weekend...YAY - thats camping weekend! Hopefully I will have some good pictures from the trip to post for you all.

My Pharmacy, My Icky Eye, and My I Miss Yous

Recently while camping with my parents, my mom made fun of my little pill-minder. If you dont know what one is, it looks like this. I got it because over the past year or so, the amount of medication I take regularly has gone from zero to ....lots.

Is this what happens when you start to get old? You start to organize your personal pharmacy? I used to never take pills....for anything. Now I have to have a pill organizer otherwise it takes me 15 minutes just to get all the childproof caps off and back on everytime I take meds. Hmm..Im making this sound like Im a pill popper who takes oodles of pills to function. ...no no. Just birth control and metformin (several times a day) for PCOS, something for anxiety, and then Prednisone for my icky eye. ....yes, I decided to take the Pred.

I did some more research on that, and the reason I decided to go ahead with it is I was only taking it for 3 weeks. Many of the complications that may come with taking Prednisone only happen when taking it long term. I can testify tho that it makes you SUPER hungry. Plus, when you eat, you never feel full. JUST what I need! UGH! On the positive side, my eye looks MUCH better. Im in the process of tapering back down off the Pred, so we'll see what my eye does when Im done with that. If the ickyness comes back, I have to go see a doctor who specializes in the orbit of the eye.

Because I hate ending any blog entry without talking about Miss Jubilation Lee, I will tell you about her latest phrase: I miss you. Being a mom of a two year old, I get frustrated..or tired, or want to pluck myself bald if I hear "MOMMYMOMMYMOMMY" one more time, (or all three). But let me tell you...all it takes is Jubilee looking at me with those big blue eyes and for her to say,, "Mommy??" "Yes Juju?" "....I miss you!" I love when she says it appropriately...like when she's been at Grandma's all day. But I also love it when she runs in from just the next room to say it too. Totally makes my day.

A Few Pictures of The Juju Bean

Sorry it took me so long to post these. Im a slacker! These were pictures Mom took....I still have a bunch on my camera that I cant seem to find at the moment.

Here is Juju sitting on the steps of Papa and Meema's trailer. As you can see we started the week with cute summer clothes. By the end she pretty much was running around in just a diaper. Between the swimming and the popsicles, she was going to run out of clothes!














Jubilee LOVED the water! She would wake up and her first words would be, "Swimmin'?!"

She loved taking rides in the boat too..Papa even let her drive.

Swimmin' some more!

And... We're Back!

After spending 6 very relaxing days camping and fishing in Eastern Washington, we are back at home and hitting the daily grind.

The trip started off with a 6 hour impromptu car ride a day early. Troy had a baseball tourny that got rained out so we decided to jump in the car and take off. I was a little concerned about the long car ride and Jubilee getting impatient. Turns out I didnt have to worry at all. She did great. In fact the last couple hours she just stared at the scenery impressed with the big mountains, "BIIIIG Mountains! Dont fall!!!" We didnt tell Mom and Dad we left early and just showed up on their door step at 9pm and said, "SURPRISE!" They were totally surprised even tho mom did call while we were in Tacoma and asked me to bring my big cooking pot. I had to lie and say, "okay!" After yelling, "Surprise!" Jubilee broke out in her rendition of Happy Birthday to You. It was quite cute!

We spent one night in Lake Chelan, (well, not IN the Lake...the Town), and after saying goodbyes to the extended family there, we left for Blue Lake. Blue Lake is just one of the tons of lakes in the surrounding area. They are all incredibly beautiful and serene. After arriving and stripping down to summer clothes, (it was in the mid-80s all week), we set up camp and had some hot dogs with Aunt Jan and Uncle Hugh who stopped to picnic with us on their way back to Spokane from Lake Chelan. Jubilee discovered the water shortly after that. She spent lots of time throughout the week wading into the lake, splashing in the water, filling and emptying her bucket and watering can, and throwing rocks into the water. She even got to go on some rides in Papa's boat and helped him drive it! She had a blast. Every morning we would wake up and practically the second thing she said was, "Swimmin'??". I loved seeing her experience something new. We have lots of water here in PA, but always too cold to play in it.

We did lots of fishing and Troy out-fished everyone. I think I convinced him its because he stinks like a fish and so they feel kindred. Troy also made another friend while we were there. As he was making his hourly trek to the bathroom, he came upon a turtle just hanging out in the grass. Troy brought him back to the campsite and set him by the water. For the rest of the week that turtle swam around right in front of our trailer and once in a while would pop his head up as if to wave to Troy fondly.

As relaxing and uneventful as this trip was, we did have some excitement. We were about to leave to get some dinner in nearby Electric City and to get a gander at the Grand Coulee Dam before noticing a lady approaching the van. She said a sailboater was overturned and didnt seem to be able to right himself. She handed us her binoculars and we looked out to see a poor guy hanging onto the side of his sailboat for dear life. The wind was blowing, but not too hard...besides, the wind should help him get back over. We recognized the man as our neighbor in the next campsite. Mom Botts walked over to tell his wife and ask if he would be ok. The wife started to panic and yelled, "he cant swim! he cant swim!" Sure enough, he was wearing no life jacket! So Dad jumped out of the van and into his boat. He zoomed out and rescued the sailboater who had way too much water in his boat to turn over. Dad Botts the Hero!

I'll have more trip details and pictures soon!

The Gauntlet of Spiders

Ok, I know Ive blogged about this before, but I cannot stress enough of how I HATE HATE HATE spiders. My husband knows this and uses any chance he gets to torture me about it. If I scream, "SPIDERRRRRR!" from anywhere in the house, he knows his instant and mandatory duty is to jump up and kill it for me. We've been married for 10 years - its always been this way - it will never change. Yet every time before he dutifully makes his way to the spider in question, he asks, "How big is it??" As if knowing this bit of information makes a difference in his job. It doesnt matter! Its a spider! THEY ARE ALL BIG!

Im driving home tonight and I notice a ugly blonde spider crawling on my dash board and I know then I have a choice. Troy is not with me and I doubt as much as I beg her to, Jubilee is not going to get out of her carseat and kill a spider for me while I keep my eyes on the road. So I can either ignore it and let the spider go on its happy way while I drive safely down the road, OR... I can whimper and try to squirm away from the spider who is inching closer and closer to me. Guess which one I chose? Thats right, I squealed like a little girl stuck in a room full of...well, spiders. I dont know how, but I didnt run off the road or hit any pedestrians. I dont even remember looking at the road. All I know is there was a spider and he was getting closer to me. I wanted to pull off the road, jump out and flag down the nearest car for someone to save me and my little girl who was still stuck in the van with the huge venomous spider who Im sure was planning my demise. But, I didnt want to over-react.

By this time I suppose I was whimpering and whining so much that Jubilee was asking, "Mommy? ...doing?" I said, "Theres a spiderrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!" "A spiiider???" She asks this question not as I would have. As if by spider I meant horrible meat eating beast about to attack my brain thru my eyeballs.... No, she asks in a sweet little voice, "Spiiider?? I want see!" *blinks* There is no way I am going to pull over and show my daughter this spider for a cute little life lesson about bugs.

I start to brainstorm...ok..what can I do... Soon that spider is going to touch me. I take the extra hair scrunchee I have around my gear shift, (like every smart girl has), and with every brave fiber in my being that I could muster up...I threw the scrunchee at the spider. Ok, Ok, I know a scrunchee is not known for its mortal wounding capabilities, but MAYBE, just maybe I could push it away from me a little. And it worked! He fell to the floor.....still not dead - damn scrunchee - but hes farther away from me. Im not far from home at this point and think I can make it home while I keep one eye on the road and one eye on the spider. Then I notice some movement on the windshield. I look close and there it is.... A SECOND SPIDER!

At this point Im telling myself to breathe. There is two! This could only mean there is a conspiracy against me. They have a team! They have a nest! OMG, they have a PLAN!

Instantly memories flood my brain of when I was a small child. Going to Lake Sutherland happy and excited to go swimming...heading to the dock in my cute little rainbow bikini. Running to the diving board and jumping into the water from as high as I could get and splashing into the cool water. It felt so good and it was so fun... I had to get back on that diving board so I swam as fast as I could to the ladder up to the dock. I surfaced up on the platform and felt funny...itchy...tingly.... I look down and my body is COVERED in baby spiders!!! All strewn together with web and not falling off me no matter how hard I shook my body... Finally I flung myself back into the water to get them off, but it was too late. I had already been scarred for life.

So there I am in my van facing two of the spiders whom I am positive are decendents of the ones I obviously failed drowning so long ago and I cant hold it together any more. I cant pull over because Im sure if I jump out they will jump on me and wont be able to get away quick enough. And we were for sure not near any body of water I could jump into. So I did what any Mom would do faced with the imminent danger of herself and her baby. I grabbed Jubilee's Dora the Explorer umbrella and I beat those two spiders repeatedly until I saw guts and knew they were dead. I was so proud of myself and I dont even care what I looked like flailing a Dora umbrella around while driving.

You would think this unfortunate event was enough spider interaction for one day. Oh no...not for me. I get home and get Jubilee out of the van, and she is still talking about the gore. "Ewwwwwwww! smooooshed spider!" We make our way to the enclosed sidewalk in front of our house and I look up.... What do I see, but TWO icky spiders nests. There were open and baby spiders were all slithering over eacher in two separate patches right above where we had to walk to get into the front door. No way. Im not doing it again. I cant just ignore them. I cant muster up enough in me to kill them and there is NO way I am walking under them just to have them fall on me, crawl in my ears and lay more eggs. NO WAY. I scoop Jubilee up and go around to the back where we can safely enter the house. Thank god that path is clear..otherwise we'd still be out there waiting for Troy to get home. And as soon as he does, he's going on spider duty.

Odds and Ends

Im going to give you guys just some odds and ends of whats been going on, whats been going on my head, (that section with be SHORT!), and whats coming up!

Diversified Resource Center

DRC is where I used to work before choosing to be a stay-at-home mommy. Before I left there, things were changing big time. We had just gotten a new Executive Director and he was making some waves in the water of the community. DRC was, at the time, the largest and longest-standing provider of services to people with disabilities on the Olympic Peninsula. Its something the staff, board, and parents of our customers had invested much pride. Right before I left, the Exec was making some changes and trying to explain to the staff what they were. Most of us came away from long pointless meetings wondering what the heck we were supposed to understand. It was confusing and muddled. When asked if he could clarify, the explanation only got worse.

A few days ago there was an article in the paper all about the NEW Diversified Resource Center. There is not one department within DRC now that serves people with disabilities directly. Programs and contracts that were painstakingly researched and babied thru to perfection were no longer. They are now strangely close to being a economic development council. There is nothing recognizable about the former DRC besides the name and the 401 (c) 3 status. They are even located in a different county. Even the staff is different. From what I understand, he chased off all the former staff and hired his friends. Sad really...Makes me wonder what happened to all of our clients and their jobs.

Upcoming Camping Trip
We are leaving in a few days to spend some quiet time in Eastern Washington camping and fishing. I am looking forward to fishing with my Dad. I love hanging out with Dad.....especially when I can out-fish him. Im also looking forward to Jubilee riding in the boat. She is really into boats and airplanes right now. If anything resembling either is remotely in her sight, we hear, "AIRRRRRPLANE! AIRRRRRRPLANE!" or "BOOOAT! BIIIIIIIIIIIIG BOAT!"

The lake we camp on is located in a huge canyon. Every year the air force does some sort of drill thru it. Huge planes come right into the canyon and look like they are going to land right on top of your campsite. Jubilee is going to FREAK! She will LOVE it! Cant wait to see her face!

I am not, however, looking forward to a 5 or 6, (or more), hour car ride with a two year old. Jubilee is always really good in the car. But when you live in Ghettosville, everything is 10 minutes away. On the few occasions we've taken her to Seattle, most of the trip is during her nap time so it was a bit easier as she slept. I have a list a mile long of the things Im taking to keep her occupied... we'll see how it goes!

Happy Birthday Miss M!

Marilyn Monroe would have been 80 years old today. I have a fascination with Marilyn and have since I was old enough to know she existed. Ive seen all her movies - even the one she was unable to finish due to her death. Over the years I have collected and gotten rid of different Marilyn paraphernalia. I even had a copy of her autopsy report. To me Marilyn was the original. No one, like Madonna, Anna Nicole, Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani would be, (or look like), who they are today without Marilyn paving that road. The original blonde bombshell! Plus she did it with much more class than the rest did.

BTW, she didnt commit suicide - she was murdered.... but I wont go further to spare you my rant.

Speaking of Anna Nicole Smith

Holy monkey...someone let this girl BREED?! WTH!?!?!?

And I leave you with....

A Jubilee quote... As she observed a line of school buses driving down the road, "Dee's (Dylan's) bus! *another one passes and she points...* "Juju's Bus!!" *another one passes and she points excitedly*, "Mommy's bus!" * a short school bus with darkened windows passes...* "Daddy's bus!"

She is so smart!

Im a Law-Breaker!

I admit it, I am a rebellious heathen with no regard for the law. I got a no-seatbelt ticket.

Ok, Im being dramatic about being a heathen. But I seriously cannot remember to put on my seatbelt. I have, on more than a few occasions, been sneaking my belt on as the sight of a state patrol car inches next to me at the stop light. Usually Im sly enough to get away with it. Not last Wednesday however. He spotted me at just the right time. Driving the whole 5 mins it takes me to get from my moms house to my house. He stopped me and told me not only was I in violation of no seatbelt, but he could also give me a ticket for not having Jubilee's carset installed properly. Ok, I will fully admit I broke the law about my seatbelt...but no way was Juju's seat installed wrong. I am DILIGENT about her seat. He went around the van and opened the door to inspect it. Upon inspection he admitted he was a bit confused by that brand of carseat and that I should run right home and look at the directions. (Dammit, if Britney Spears doesnt get a ticket, then I sure as hell better not!) So, I did, and YES my carseat was installed correctly - maybe a bit too much give on both sides - but Troy tightened it and its FINE! Anyway, yes, I got a no-seatbelt ticket.....and YES Im still forgetting to put it on, but Im working on it!!

The funniest thing about this is, I have a good friend named Jack, and he just got a no-seatbelt ticket too. If one of us has something, the other has to have it too!

My Unwelcome Visitor

After giving birth, some women experience post partum depression/anxiety. The release of hormones and the general chaos that a woman's body goes through can sometimes send us into a mood frenzy. Most often, that frenzy goes away with time. Post Partum Depression/Anxiety can last up to a year. The way I understand it, if it lasts longer than that...its something else.

Since Jubilee was born Ive experienced horrific anxiety. For the entire first year of her life I lived with it daily. For much of that first year I didnt enjoy my baby the way I do now because the only thought that consumed me was, "Is she going to die today?" I look back at baby pictures of her and realize I didnt enjoy that moment like I could have because I was too consumed with anxiety.

With Jubilee's first birthday, a lot of the anxiety regarding her disappeared. I think finally getting a myriad of doctors to declare her health and development perfectly normal helped a whole lot. I was relieved. However, instead of the anxiety completely disappearing, it just kind of took a different form. I could no longer consider it "Post Partum Anxiety".

I take medication to keep anxiety at bay and for the most part, it works. But once in a while that anxiety creeps up to the point of almost being unable to function. Its a very strange thing to describe and experience because I dont consider myself to be worrisome or weak-minded. But at times for the past week or so, all Ive wanted to do is sit in a corner and cry over some impending doom and disaster that MAY happen to my loved ones, or me....and most dreaded - BECAUSE of me. Its a fear that makes my body shake and my tummy sick. Its that kind of anxiety that I hate most - the kind I cant put my finger on. Just a feeling of horrible doom and disappointment to others in the near future. It may last a whole day or just a few minutes. I know it doesnt make sense, but it feels so real. I feel very out of control and hate it so much. Jubilee is very good for me in these moments because I know that no matter what Im feeling - I still have to be a mom. I still have to function and even if its only to feed her and get her dressed, Im still functioning and not letting the anxiety over-take me.

Thank god times like this are few and far between.

My Icky Eye: Here We Go Again

Since I last wrote about my icky eye, they were taking me off of the eye drops and oral medication and looking into the possibility of it being Pseudo Tumor Cerebri. I had lots of blood work done to determine that it wasnt connective tissue disorders or anything auto-immune or thyroid.... so we're pretty sure we're dealing with Pseudo Tumor at this point. Its not as scary as it sounds. Mine isnt in my brain, and Im not having any vision changes. I am having some headaches and dizziness, but hard to tell if they are connected.

Since Ive weaned off the drops and meds, my eye looks much worse. Its mostly on the inside toward the corner of my eye, but at times - like in the morning - my whole eye is awful looking. Here is what it looks like now:

So the treatment is oral Prednisone. Im not happy about that. Im considering not even taking it. It has some pretty ugly side effects that Im not sure are worth dealing with to not have a red eyeball.

Side Effects of Prednisone
The most commonly encountered side effects are:
Sodium retention
Increased appetite
Increased fat deposits
Increased acid in your stomach
Increased sweating, especially at night
Increased hair growth
Acne on the face, back, and chest
Bone and muscle problems
Growth problems in children
Eye problems
Increased sugar in the blood
Increased sensitivity to the sun
Delayed wound healing
Decreased ability to fight infection
Thrush (Candida) growth in the mouth

Some of these side effects I am already dealing with as symptoms of PCOS. Things that are VERY annoying and make me one high maintence girl so I dont look like a teenage Wookie.

So what would you do? Would you take the Prednisone? Especially if some of the side effects were things you were already dealing with? Like acne, weight control and hair growth? Let me hear from some of you... especially those who have taken Prednisone. What do you think?

Jubilee is Two!!

I can hardly believe that Juju is two. The past two years have FLOWN by. Lately Ive been looking at her newborn pics just to see how much she has grown. What ends up happening is me tearing up and remembering how scary it was in the beginning. What a miracle Jubilee is....things could have turned out so differently.


I dont look at this picture often because it reminds me of what I was feeling at that moment. We are so lucky and thankful that she shows no effects of what happened to her two years ago. She is truly a miracle baby.




We had a good time celebrating her birthday on Sunday. We had a small family BBQ. Everyone brought a yummy side dish and Troy grilled some burgers. It was great fun. Jubilee received some FUN gifts that I can hardly reel her away from. In this pic she is playing in the WAY cool crab-shaped sand box that Aunt Holly and Uncle Jason gave her. Its been raining the past few days and has been BEGGING to play in the, "dewwt". (dirt)







Troy's parents gave Jubilee a gorgeous swing set. Its made of wood and has a glider, slide, two swings, ladders and a platform at the top of the slide to play in. It was so generous of them to get that for her PLUS assemble it and Im thrilled. Its the kind of swing set that she will have throughout her childhood and will grow with her.

Jubilee loved all her gifts and still talks about her "paahtee". Today is her actual birthday and has been scampering around the house singing, "Happy Day to Jujuuuuu! Happy Day to youuuuu!" Here is a pic of her VERY excited over a new pair of jeans! (I get this excited over new clothes too!)

Thanks to everyone who helped make that a special day for her!

Insomnia Speaks

Its 3:21am and I cant sleep. Ive been tossing and turning since about 1am. Jubilee joined me in the no-sleep marathon at 2am and she is just now falling back to sleep. I had to tell her she needed her rest for tomorrow because it was the day of her party. "PAAAAAHTEEEE???" This exclamation was accompanied by her "surprised" face. Its a big expression with her mouth shaped in a big "O". I didnt think she could grasp the concept of a birthday party yet, but as she is falling asleep right now, she is singing, "Happy Day to Jujuuuuuu....Happy Day!" Thats her version of Happy Birthday.

I just cant seem to shut my mind off tonight. Thinking lots about Juju's party, (which isnt really a birthday party as much as a small family BBQ), my stupid icky eye situation, my cousin Janet's boob, and how dirty my house is even tho I spent much of yesterday working on it. I know I will love having everyone over my house tomorrow, Im just not a hostess for the most part. I dont usually have houseguests, and the people who do come over regularly know that Im not a very good housekeeper and that a toddler rules the cleanliness of my castle at the mo. I mean, my house isnt DIRTY, but if you looked in the shower for example, there are scribblings on the tile of bath crayons and a myriad of toys and of kid-friendly soaps. In a corner of every room is a basket too-full of toys, and probably a sippy cup or two in various states of fullness lying on the floor. And we wont even talk about dog hair. Oy. OH..and the refridgerator....OMG. It has bubbling tupperware of which the contents are unrecognizable. When I clean out the refridgerator Im usually uttering, "When did I make THAT!?" several times. If my cousin Glen were still in school for forensic science, I would call him up and tell him I had some good specimens for him to study.

Hmm...maybe I should be cleaning instead of blogging.... NAAAAH!

Poopy in the Toilet!

(First off, those of you who prefer not to hear about poop in any manner may want to skip this post. I am a mother of a toddler and poop is pretty much in my daily vocabulary.)

Of course I never assumed I knew it all about being a Mommy. And if I ventured even close to that assumption, my daughter would reel me back in so fast I'd have whiplash. I read a lot of parenting advice. Anything from books to articles to online information. I am as prepared as any parent could get I suppose. However, in all my preparation for becoming a parent, and all the knowledge I have gained, this is what I know: I dont know anything. Even tho I have read the books - life doesnt go according to the books.

The latest realization of this is in potty training. I started to potty train Jubilee early on....probably around 12 months. Nothing extensive... just introduced her to the little potty chair and let her get used to the idea. By 18 months she had gone potty on the potty chair a handful of times. I figured, "OH! she is almost ready!" So around 20 months I figured my kid was smart enough to get the hang of it. She just needed my support. I read a lot of information and heard a lot of advice from friends, (some of which had their babies potty trained at 8 months). We picked a day and went full force with panties and everything! It was an utter failure. Jubilee didnt have one success. What I learned from that is this: If you try to potty train your child before they are ready...you are just training yourself. My friends who have had their babies potty trained at 8 months or so, (in my opinion and no offense to them at all), have just trained themselves to know the queues of their babies of when they are going to urinate.

Jubilee had all the readiness signs, (according to the books), but I think emotionally she wasnt ready. So we put potty training on the back burner for a couple months. Now, Im letting her take the lead. Once I started taking this approach, things are coming together. I didnt push the potty, I didnt make her sit on the potty. But when she told me, "poop", I asked if she wanted to go to the potty and she agreed. For 3 days in a row, Jubilee has gone #2 in the big potty...not even her potty chair. I have not changed a poopy diaper in 3 days. Im hoping today will be number 4 and Im not jinxing it by blogging about it!

She is quite funny when she uses the big potty succesfully too. When she goes we have a party. Party hats, a balloon, stickers, and a Hello Kitty sparkley she gets to wear on her shirt. We call everyone we know that would care and she informs them of the poopy in the big potty. Then we flush and she stands over the toilet saying, "bye bye potty!" She is obviously very proud of herself. We dance and sing and yell, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Never in my life would I think I would be sooooo excited over poop in the toilet. But I am.

Various Bits and Pieces

Not a lot going on the past couple days. Just getting some energy back from not feeling so well, and cleaning up the house and yard for the family BBQ we're having on Sunday for Jubilee's 2nd birthday. Its not really a birthday party. She's only 2 and at this point its more for us than her, but I thought it would be fun to get the fam together.

Jubilee has been waking up in the middle of the night again lately. Not sure if its nightmares or just happenstance, but Ive definitely needed to adjust. She wakes up saying, "MommyMommyMommyMommy!" I stumble into her room to comfort her and nothing from my Mommy Bag O' Tricks is working. She wants in Mommy's bed and Im too tired to fight that battle, so I bring her to my bed. Usually she is very satisfied once in my bed. She will never sleep there...but very content to snuggle and talk for a while until she is ready to go back to her bed. Not last night tho. Last night she cried - with tears! I sang and played with her fingers in just the way she likes but nothing worked. She had a very wet diaper so I changed it and she asked for Daddy. I took her to Troy, but he was out like the dead - none of this woke him. Jubilee then wanted to watch TV - and thats where I drew the line. I needed some sleep. I opened the curtains and showed Jubilee outside. I said, "Look its dark outside. The birdies are sleeping, the bugs are sleeping and even the airplanes are sleeping. Its time for Juju to sleep too!" She started to cry again but said, "Ooooooookaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!" She walked back to her bedroom and pointed to her crib and said, "lay dowwwwnnnn." All while crying her eyes out. I put her back in her crib and she had to have baby #1, baby #2, pink carebear, and purple carebear. Then she was ready to go back to sleep. And so was I!

The only place we went yesterday was to get flowers. I have this old radio flyer wagon that was left from the previous owners. Its really beat up with peeling paint and chipped wood. Im going to turn it into a planter. Mom Botts helped me pick out some cool looking flowers since I have nothing even resembling a green thumb. The only think I can grow really well is mold.

Looks like its going to be nice outside here again today. Im going to blow up Jubilee's kiddie pool I think! She loves playing in water. Gotta take advantage of those sunny days when we have them here in Ghettosville!

My Mothers Day Gift

Im still pretty new at this Mothers Day thing. Obviously not as having a mom, but being one. My husband isnt all that great at remembering these important days so other than the grand feast Jason and Holly treated us to at Downriggers, (which was MORE than enough, thank you!!!), I didnt receive, and wasnt expecting any sort of a gift. Having Jubilee, and her surviving what she did is the perfect gift in and of itself.

This afternoon as I was feeling a little under the weather, Jubilee came running in to where I was snuggled up in my blanket catching up on my Survivor episodes. She wanted to play and the last thing I wanted to do was sing yet another rendition of Patty Cake. So I pulled her up onto my lap and she gave me a big hug and kiss. She then eyeballed my bottle of lotion sitting on the side table. I try not to let her play with those things since finding one of her baby dolls covered in Origins Ginger Lotion. But I gave in because I was feeling icky and it was something to keep her occupied.

She crawled down off my lap and for the next 15 minutes gave me the best darn pretend moisturizing foot rub EVER! First she took off my socks, but not before telling me that one was orange and one was green. (hey...it was laundry day). Then she pretended to pour the "shotion" on each of my feet and rubbed it in VERY nicely. She counted my toes, telling me several times in a row that they were blue, (blue toenail polish), and also made sure I knew she thought they were "preeeeeeeeetty!" After my foot rub she crawled back into my lap and said, "Love you Mommy". *melts so bad*

I forgot all about Survivor and feeling icky. Being a Mommy rocks.

Happy Mothers Day

Ode to My Mom

Youre kinda anal, and you think Im a fruit
Im sorta scatterbrained and you like to toot.

I like to rock and never take it slow,
You like it mellow and love Barry Manilow.

Vodka and beer is what you like to drink,
Diet Mountain Dew is yummy I think.

You are a backseat driver, "OMG TURN LEFT!!!"
Its not a wonder Dad is so deaf.

We're really different, and thats ok,
The best of both worlds, we're good that way.

I learned so much from you. You thought your advice was all for naught.
I absorbed more than you know, things you didnt know were being taught.

You taught me lots of things, but not just right from wrong,
Like how to be a good mommy, and how to be strong.

That list grows everyday, in fact its getting quite long.
I appreciate you more now, now that Im a mom.

Parent Education

Tonight I went to a parents meeting for Juju's Pre-three co-op school. Even tho I thought it was WAY too long, I still had a good time. Its one of those outings that you dread and wish you didnt have to go.....until you get there and you were glad you went.

We talked a lot about "The Two Year Old" and what to expect in the coming months. I learned that Jubilee is very typical in some areas and very not-so-typical in others. Most of the other parents agreed that "NO!" was their kids favorite word right now. Jubilee rarely, if ever, says no. When she does say it, its in reference to something she doesnt want. "No tights, no bath, no cheese" for example. She never says "NO" just to say it - which at this age, is a common thing Im told. People also commented on how social Jubilee is. One mom was trying to describe her to her husband. She said, "Jubilee is almost like a mini adult. She interacts with you and makes you laugh. It isnt like a toddler getting your attention, its like she is engaging you." Im not sure I see the difference, but I love that my little ham is making people talk - in a good way.

Also at the meeting we discussed "positive discipline" which Im not quite sure I buy into it all. Yes, I want my child to be well-adjusted and happy. No, I dont think the only way that can happen is if I never ever use the word "no" and only make a Time-Out a positive fluffy experience. I believe in positive reinforcement I guess. What they call "positive discipline" is not discipline at all....but distractions and only happiness. Well if I only distract Jubilee from running out into the road, (oh look Juju! Something Shiney!), and never discipline her for actually running into road, how is she going to know she shouldnt run into the road? Just seems silly to me.

Mostly tho, there was good information. We also talked about potty training, eating and sleeping patterns and activities to cure boredom. Its also good for me to hear other parents say, "Yes! I get frustrated too!" So then I dont feel like the most impatient mom ever. Other people want to lock themselves in the bathroom and pretend they are constipated just to get a few moments alone too! Its not just me! And we compare our kids behavior so we know its normal. No, two year olds arent supposed to share. Its ok that Jubilee is a bully right now...she will grow out of it. No, she isnt the only one still in a crib or sleeping with a binky. There was lots of good encouragment.

It was good to get away from home a little bit and have conversations with adults. (No, Troy does NOT count...I said ADULTS.) And it was good to know that for the most part, Im doing it right. And the days that I dont get it right, I have tomorrow to try again.

Smells from Unknown Origins

Im really weird about smells. I think I have a very sensitive smeller. I think I got it from my mom, who can hardly stand anyone to wear perfume around her. She can also tell if you are pooping from 1.5 miles away. (But only if you are her kids or her dog.) But I digress...

When I was pregnant I swear my nose got more sensitive to smells. I could tell if someone was smoking at the car next to me at the stop light without looking. I drove Troy insane, (albeit a VERY short trip), with my bi-hourly inquisitions, "Do you smell THAT?!" Its not as bad as that now Im not pregnant, but pretty close. Today a pair of Jubilee's new jeans were in the hamper in her room getting ready to go to the washer. I picked them up and realized they smelled funny...not bad, kind of good actually. And its not the new clothes smell either - it was faint and like lotion or perfume. Now these pants are new and never been worn. In fact, they went from store, to the bag, to Juju's room at the top of the laundry bin that holds only her clothes. Upon further inspecting the jeans I realized there were wet spots on them...and those wet spots smelled like that lotion smell. For the life of me, I can NOT figure out how those pants got wet or what the smell is on them. Its a smell of unknown origin. THOSE kind of smells are the smells I hate the most. WHY! WHY! WHY! does it smell that way??? It haunts me.

If you get the urge to read blogs about things other than my smells,...look at my new links... There are my favorite blogs there from people near and dear to me!

The Insanity that is Tom Cruise

Anyone that knows me knows that I think Tom Cruise is a nutball. In fact, most of the people I talk to think that way too. In the past few months alone hes done and said enough crazy things to make a casual movie-goer wonder if he is off his psycotropic meds..(oh wait...he doesnt use any because its a "false" science). My disdain for Mr. Cruise goes back farther. Especially when he publically condemned Brooke Shields for using medication to treat her post partum depression.

I had a little bit of PPD, and A LOT of PPA (post partum anxiety). I know that had I not sought help and taken a small dosage of medication to relieve the anxiety, I would be in very bad shape today. But even if I were lucky enough to not experience either of those things, I would know Tom Cruise talks out of his ass and he has apparently mistaken it for his brain.

Since the whole Brooke Shields/Matt Lauer/Oprah Winfrey thing, he continues to push Scientology to the front of his infamy. Its sad really....he's become just like Michael Jackson. So much money, so much fame....and no one in his life to say, "Hey....you need to put the coo-coo back in the clock." He has gone off the deep end so much so that its trickling into his career. Even Mission Impossible III is doing realllllllllllllly bad at its open weekend at the box office. Totally underwhelming. So much so that at theaters close to the Hollywood Scientology Center are reporting strange ticket sale patterns.

http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/unusual-mi3-ticket-sales-at-arclight-near-scientology-celeb-center/

http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/tom_cruise/rescue_mission_20060506.php
M for Manipulation is RIGHT..... CREEEEEEPY!

The Journey to Silverdale

First off, let me share Jubilee's Two Year pictures. No, she's not 2 yet, but in a couple weeks she will be!

It was difficult to get some good shots. She wasnt in the mood to smile at all. But we did get some good expressions.

We were acting like fools trying to get her to smile. Here she was dancing while my mom and I sang, "Menamenah".

The camera lady was trying so hard to get her to smile...but this is what Jubilee thought of her...

Out of desperation for a smile, we even tried to bribe with fruit snacks which she knows as, "canny" (candy). We still didnt get a smile, but she let us know she should get them anyway...

We started off in the mall where we got some great clearance deals on clothes for Jubilee. Mom bought her the most ADORABLE birthday dress. We got some yummy lotion and hand soap and Bath and Body works, then Mom hit Mervyns while Jubilee and I played in the indoor playground. Jubilee LOVED it there and I was so impressed with her. Typically, she can be pretty aggressive with other kids. We've really had to work on being nice and sharing. She played like a polite angel with all the other kids with no interaction from me. In fact, the lady sitting next to me kept asking about Jubilee...how old she was and what her name was. She kept telling me how adorable Jubilee is and said, "I have my own kids to watch in here and I cant keep my eyes off of her!" haha!

We had lunch at Red Robin where again people were enamored with Juju. At the next table a little boy hit his knee on the table and cried. She told every one around us that he was "sad" and that he needed a bandage. Then she pretended to be sad too as she covered her eyes and "cried". At this point even the little boy with the owie was amused by her. What a little ham I have!!!

After lunch we had to go get diapers because I forgot them. I even forgot the stroller and we had to turn around after being on the road for 5 mins to get it. Even after going back to the house, I still didnt grab any diapers. lol (Just call me Troy.) While we were in Target I saw some dear friends, Julie Peabody and her mom Kathy, that also live in Port Angeles. I hardly ever get to see them even tho we attend the same church, (different services), and live in small town Ghettosville. But then I run into them in Silverdale, (weird!) and it was great to see them.

The trip in itself went pretty good even tho I had a tired toddler on my hands. I was able to get the art easel for her birthday gift cheaper than I thought. Even Mom kept her back seat driving to a minimum. I know that was difficult for her..she must have been ready to explode by the time I dropped her off.

BTW, the funniest thing (to me) about Silverdale?... The porno shop is connected and in the same building as The Mattress Barn. HAHA

Just a Quickie!

Just a quickie post to let you know I didnt have an eye appt yesterday after all. They called and canceled it so we would have time to wean me off the drops.

Tomorrow Im going to Silverdale, (the closest town with a decent mall and Toys R Us), to go birthday shopping for Jubilee. We are also going to get Jubilee's 2nd birthday pictures taken.

Have a good weekend everyone!

My Icky Eye: Closer to a Diagnosis

Are you guys sick of hearing about my eye yet? When I first started to blog about this, I thought it was just a weird thing that would go away in no time. But now I feel like its become a strange journey. Again, I appreciate all your calls and emails asking for updates and well wishes.

The truth is, I think its much less scary than what its all sounded like. My eye has never really been in pain and I still feel like its just a fluke wacko thing.

My eye doctor did call me last night with the final report of my cat scan. What that showed was the inflammation is not just on the surface of my eye but all around it. So the drops were making the surface look better, but behind the eye was still inflamed. There are several things that could be causing this. Some auto-immune disease or a connective tissue disorder. OR a Pseudo tumor. I go in for blood work today to test for those things. If they are negative, my eye doctor will treat my eye for a pseudo tumor. That sounds MUCH scarier than what it is. Basically what it boils down to is: Unexplained Chronic Inflammation. Treatment for that is Prednisone which I am NOT happy about if indeed its pseudo tumor. But I guess I will worry about that when I need to.

I have an appt on Thursday to hear the results of the blood test and talk about a treatment. I will keep you updated. Thanks for checking in on me!